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The Type of Person Who Skips the Game's End Credits

Treat me to a Ko-Fi to give me more motivation!!!

*****

※The Story So Far※

The Freshness Prince has started spouting nonsense again!

Is that just business as usual? Well, yeah! Alright then, let’s move on!

「...My Lady, that summary is far too lazy.」

「Eh? I mean, trying to nitpick the Freshness Prince’s words and actions is just too much effort at this point.」

「A business, you say?」

Ah, things were progressing over there.

「Yes! A business!」

The Prince replied with a beautiful voice and a beautiful smile.

「Because if I start a business, I can surround myself with round things!!」

Oi, wait a damn minute—!!

「...What is with that man's 'Round Thing Obsession'...?」

「Maybe it’s some kind of disease? ...Specifically, in the head region.」

Oi, you're being way too blunt. Mince your words a little more.

「To dabble in commerce with such a frivolous motive is laughable! Do not mock the way of trade!」

「Then let me ask you: what is the difference between the motive of 'wanting to earn money' and the motive of 'wanting to surround oneself with round things'?! Do they not both serve to satisfy one's own desires?!」

「Guh...」

Oh, Your Majesty! Don't get tongue-tied there!

This is bad.

His Majesty is about to be overwhelmed by the Prince’s "Round Thing Obsession"...!

「The reason people work is, quite simply, 'the desire for play-money'!」

You might be right, but watch your phrasing!

「However, I have no need for money! I simply wish to be flanked by round things! What is so wrong with such a desire?!」

「...Then why doesn't he just go make a 'Round Thing Harem' on his own...」

Don't say it, Franz.

If that man realizes he can do that, he’ll actually go through with it...

...And just imagining it, the visuals of a "Round Thing Harem" are horrifying...

Surrounded by a multitude of round things, a delighted Freshness Prince... It’s a scene straight out of hell...

But seriously, Prince, why do you think you can't surround yourself with round things unless you start a business?

「The shopping district has its round things, so I must have my own lovely round things! I wish to obtain 'my very own round thing'!!」

The Prince declared with a clenched fist and great force.

I wonder what a "Freshness Prince’s Lovely Round Thing" would even be...

In the first place, those mascots only started because Hana-chan created Maru-san.

Which means the one responsible for blooming this "Round Thing Obsession" in the Prince is actually Hana-chan, isn't it...?

Hana-chan, you’ve done something terrible...

No, wait, is that just a false accusation?

While I was lost in thought, a voice called out to me from a distance.

Looking over, I saw Hana-chan herself running toward us.

「Ann-san! This is terrible!」

「What happened?」

Things are pretty terrible over here too, you know? Thanks to the round things you brought into this world.

「There's something wrong with the status screen!」

「Eh?」

I suppose I shouldn't mention that the very existence of a "status screen" is what's actually wrong.

Moving slightly into the shadows, Hana-chan opened the status screen to show me.

...Hm?

Is that music I hear?

(♪~ (Sound of a piano))

「This thing... it's broadcasting directly into my brain!!」

Good grief! A soft piano melody has started playing inside my head! Why in my brain?!

Wait, this song—it's a piano arrangement of that 'Yobikomi-kun' promotional jingle.

As for the status screen itself, all the text has vanished, leaving it as nothing more than a blank pink board.

「You can hear it in your head too, right?! The game’s ending theme!」

Ah, I see! So this song is the ending theme!

Is the game... ending...?

Is this 'Prank Comedy Space-Time' about to undergo a metamorphosis into 'Serious Dramatic Space-Time' or something...?!

「Is 'Serious Dramatic' really the opposite of 'Prank Comedy'?」

Shut it, Franz.

「One round thing for every shop! What a dream-like world that would be!!」

In perfect sync with the soft piano music in my head, the Freshness Prince’s garbage-tier argument resonated grandly.

No, wait.

'One round thing for every shop'?

Could it be that what this man is trying to do is...

「In other words! If I create a massive collection of many shops, I can place many different round things! ...Yes! What I aim for is a large, multi-purpose commercial complex that gathers every kind of shop imaginable!!」

Oi! This guy is trying to summon the Final Boss!!

「To think the enemy was this close...!」

Hana-chan clenched her fists.

I mean, this 'enemy' is basically someone you awakened yourself...

「If I'd known it would come to this... I should have used a chainsaw to take him apart sooner...!!」

Hana-chan! That’s an act only permitted against 'gods'!

If you do that in reality, you're just a psychopathic murderer!!

Though, considering what the Freshness Prince wants (a Round Thing Harem), wouldn't running a theme park be better than a commercial complex?

That sounds like it could be its own separate game, though. Actually, it probably is.

Something like a Sanrio theme park—wouldn't that fulfill the Prince's trashy dream?

「...Who would actually benefit from a theme park overflowing with characters like that?」

The Prince would.

The phrase "disregard for profitability" suits him perfectly.

「I understand what you are trying to say.」

His Majesty nodded with a hum.

...You understood? I’m still a bit lost, personally...

「That being said, allow me to speak plainly.」

His Majesty looked the Freshness Prince straight in the eye.

「Wouldn't it be fine even if you don't start a business?」

The Prince froze solid.

Right? Everyone in the vicinity nodded in agreement.

And the BGM in my head started reaching a crescendo. ...Man, everything is so jarringly out of sync it’s scary...

「Even if... I don't... start a business...」

As the Freshness Prince looked visibly shocked, His Majesty wore a puzzled expression.

「I understand quite well that you have taken a liking to these 'round things.' In that case, shouldn't you simply create your own 'round things' for yourself?」

「What...!!」

Oh! His Majesty is actually recommending the 'Round Thing Harem' to the Prince!

「It certainly seems more peaceful to let him build a 'Round Thing Harem' than to let him run a business.」

True.

If he built a massive commercial complex and it tanked with huge losses... that wouldn't be a laughing matter at all.

(〽 Standing at the shopfront, your smile is so dazzling~ I found myself closing my eyes~)

「Vocals in my head!!」

This is definitely the game’s ending theme!

「Brother... I have decided. I shall surely create my very own, my one and only round thing!」

「Well, yes. Good luck with that.」

Your Majesty! You're the one who egged him on, so take some responsibility and do something!

「Now that it's decided, I cannot stay here! I shall return to the palace! I will submit the detailed plans to the Internal Affairs department of the castle at a later date!」

「Ah... yes.」

Your Majesty! Please don't make a face like 「Wait, you're actually doing it?」!

Well... I guess the summoning of the Final Boss was prevented?

Instead, it looks like a Round Thing Harem is going to become a reality, but well, that’s none of our business.

「Ann-san! Look!」

At Hana-chan's voice, I looked at the status screen she was staring at.

On it, something resembling the game’s ending was playing.

In an actual game ending, you usually get a recap of the event CGs followed by an 'Afterward' style still.

As for this one...

First, Flora-chan the Fishmonger appeared.

She was holding a sashimi knife, and next to her was a man in an apron from a traditional restaurant or something. It looked like he was teaching her how to prepare fish.

Next came the Crown Prince, waving from a castle balcony.

A crown shaped like a boxfish sparkled atop his head. It suits you! His Highness-kun-san!

「Is this, by any chance... 'afterward' images of the game’s characters...?」

They weren't illustrations, but actual photos.

「It might be...」

Nodding, Hana-chan stared intently at the status screen.

Flora-chan the Greengrocer was... at an autograph session?

She was sitting at a folding table on a folding chair, with a banner behind her that read 'Flora Celsius Autograph Session.' Posters on the wall showed book covers like 'Easy! Bento Side Dishes in 5 Minutes' and 'Fixing Vegetable Hatred: Fun to Look at, Delicious to Eat Side Dishes for Kids.'

Eh?! Flora-chan, you're branching out into that kind of work?!

Radish-Bro was wearing a school uniform, holding a magnificent radish in each hand.

...If I'm not mistaken, this is the 'Radish Dance' from the Royal Agricultural University? Is Bro entering the Royal Ag Uni...? And joining the cheer squad...? Bro's love for radishes is incredible...

If you don't get the reference, search for 'Radish Dance'!

Next was Hana-chan.

Hana-chan and Taurus-kun were smiling as they munched on yakitori together.

Seeing that, the real-life Hana-chan blushed and went 「Kyaa~///」...

Hana-chan, your 'Otome Game Vibe' is off the charts! Ah, I'm totally not jealous or anything!!

And then, there was the Freshness Prince, enjoying tea with a peaceful smile, surrounded by a colorful array of round things in a vast, natural setting...

Apparently, the Round Thing Harem is going to be successfully realized...

That was all for the game’s characters.

However, the next image flickered onto the status screen.

Maru-san! It’s Maru-san!

Maru-san was strolling through the shopping district hand-in-hand with Big Sister Maarl.

What a lovely image...! I wish you both happiness!

Double-Maru-san was striking a pose at the entrance of a bookstore.

The bookstore was covered in posters that read 'A Social Phenomenon!! Double-Maru First Photobook'...

Crap. I might accidentally end up buying that...

And then—

「It’s Ann-san!」

An image of me appeared.

But what the hell is this! Hold on a minute!

The setting was my own room. The picture showed me desperately trying to chase after Franz as he confiscated my rice cooker.

Why is my image the only one that's a comedy?! Isn't there something nice and aesthetic like Hana-chan's?!

「...Hoh.」

I looked at Franz, who had muttered that under his breath, and he said while staring fixedly at the screen:

「Under the desk or somewhere, was it?」

「No! There’s nothing there at all!」

There is, though. The rice cooker I just bought.

「If there's nothing there, you won't mind if I take a look, right?」

「Th-there's nothing there, so there's no need to look!」

Crap! This is seriously bad!

As soon as I get home, I have to move that rice cooker immediately...!

I’ve only used it three times; I can't bear to have it taken away!

「Ah, it’s over...」

Hearing Hana-chan say that, I turned my gaze back to the status screen.

There, the game’s title logo, 'Shine Brighter than Mackerel! ~Story of the Fresh Kingdom~,' appeared with the word 'Fin' in the bottom right.

I don't mind it ending, but why did it have to drop a bomb on me at the very end...?

I must protect my Rice Cooker Mark II...!

While I was thinking that and staring at the title logo, the status screen suddenly vanished at the same time the logo faded away.

I thought Hana-chan had turned it off, but she had a look of surprise on her face.

「It vanished on its own...!」

Eh? Is that so?

You didn't turn it off, Hana-chan?

「Status Open!」

Hana-chan tried whispering the command, but the pink board didn't reappear.

「Is it because... the game is over?」

「That might be it...」

As I said that, Hana-chan slumped to her knees on the ground.

「And just when it was... starting to become a bit convenient...!!」

...Yeah. For the acquisition dates of your qualifications, let’s just check the actual certificates, okay? Or maybe keep a list in your notes?

Anyway, I don't really know how, but it seems the 'Game Developments' have come to an end.

The Final Boss... never showed up. Instead of a Final Boss, for some reason, we ended up with a 'Round Thing Harem'...

Wait, does that mean!

It means Hana-chan’s 'Shopping District Revitalization Plan' was a success?!

Was it... though?

Well, whatever!

The sun has completely set, and apparently, there’s a fireworks display starting at six-thirty.

I’ll watch the fireworks and then head home.

And once I’m home, I’ll change the rice cooker’s hiding spot post-haste. ...The look in Franz’s eyes as he watched that ending image was pretty serious, after all...

「By the way, My Lady.」

「Yeah?」

I replied while looking over the fireworks program.

I mean, what the hell? The opening act is 'O Shopping District, Be Eternal...! (Three rapid-fire No. 6 shells) Provided by: First District Shopping District Chairman.' That’s exquisitely pathetic.

「That ending from earlier? What was that bit about Mackerel at the very end...?」

「Ah, you mean 'Shine Brighter than Mackerel!'? That's the title of the game.」

'Koi-Saba' for short. Or it was also called 'Seisen Kingdom' from the subtitle '~Story of the Fresh Kingdom~.'

「Isn't that title incredibly lame...?」

「That’s the best part!」

When you see an incredibly lame or nonsensical title, don't you just feel like checking out the store page at least once?!

And just imagining having a game with such a lame title lined up in my library makes it worth it!!

「...Haa.」

In response to my passionate explanation, I got this half-hearted reply.

Wait, is this it? Is Franz’s perception of 'Japan' getting warped again?

But seriously, I think 'Kuso-ge' (trash games) is a genre with a lot of enthusiasts. Including myself, of course.

「Well, anyway, it seems to be over, so let's just enjoy the fireworks.」

「I guess so. ...My Lady, are you hungry?」

「A little. But my allowance has dwindled quite a bit...」

That’s the terrifying thing about these festivals! Before you know it, you're eating. And before you know it, your money is gone.

「It's my treat, so shall we grab some food?」

Seriously!

「I'm in!」

「In that case, what shall we have...」

I started walking, chasing after Franz as he set off.

*****

One more chapter to go!!! Cultural Corner coming in!!!

The Prince argues that working to "surround oneself with round things" is no different than working for "play-money" (asobi-gane). In Japanese work culture, there is a traditional (and often criticized) mindset that one should work for the "greater good" or "duty." The Prince flips this by using a very modern, hedonistic justification.
A piano version of the Yobikomi-kun jingle starts playing directly into Ann and Hana’s brains. As mentioned before, Yobikomi-kun is the catchy, repetitive music played in Japanese supermarkets. Using a "piano arrangement" is a classic trope in visual novels and JRPGs—when the goofy main theme gets a slow, sentimental piano cover, it signals the emotional climax or the "True Ending." The gag is that this "emotional" music is based on a discount grocery store jingle.

Hana-chan regrets not "taking the Prince apart with a chainsaw" earlier. This is a meta-reference to the 1989 Game Boy RPG Makai Toushi Sa·Ga (The Final Fantasy Legend). In the final battle, the player can famously kill "Creator" (God) instantly using a Chainsaw.
"Radish-Bro" is seen in a school uniform doing a dance with two radishes. This is a very famous real-world reference to the Tokyo University of Agriculture (Tokyo Nogyo Daigaku). Their cheer squad is legendary for the "Aoyama Hotoke" dance, popularly known as the "Radish Dance," where performers wave giant daikon radishes.
The Prince is wearing a crown shaped like a Boxfish (Hakofugu). This is a parody of Sakana-kun, Japan’s most famous celebrity fish scientist/illustrator, who is never seen without his signature blue and yellow boxfish hat.
The mascot Double-Maru is releasing a "First Photobook" that is a "social phenomenon." In Japan, popular idols or even bizarre characters (like the mascot Kumamon) often release professional photobooks that sell out instantly.
Ann’s "Ending CG" is her being chased by Franz for hiding a rice cooker. In Otome games, the "Ending CG" is supposed to be a beautiful, romantic moment with your lover. Because Ann is a "Mob" character (and obsessed with Japanese rice), her "Romantic Ending" is just a domestic dispute over a kitchen appliance. It also acts as a "Game Over" for her secret snack stash.

The title Koi wa Saba yori Kagayaite! (Shine Brighter than Mackerel!) being a kuso-ge. Kuso-ge (Crap-games) are a subgenre of games in Japan that are loved specifically because they are weird, poorly titled, or nonsensical.

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