← Previous Chapter | Chapter Index | Next Chapter →

The Day I Fell in Love

Treat me to a Ko-Fi to give me more motivation!!!

*****

Double-Maru-san is currently surrounded by girls, their high-pitched squeals filling the air. He’s a natural...

Even as he drops lines like, 「I’ve never followed a trend in my life. Trends follow me...」 he doesn't waver for a second. Honestly, he’s kind of cool.

Looking at the map of each district I got at the information booth, it seems the Second District has a lot of hair salons and apparel shops.

The person inside Double-Maru wasn't a casting mistake; he's the result of perfect marketing.

And I’m fairly certain the person inside is a professional hair stylist.

He’s incredibly meticulous when checking the girls' hairstyles.

If he’s a stylist, it makes sense that he’d know his way around makeup, too. Though I still don't quite get why his personality is so... intense.

***

The area where Double-Maru-san is hanging out is the section featuring stalls from the Second District shops.

Even that standing bar I visited a while back has a stall set up. Warmed sake and oden? That is the ultimate festival stall! ...Not that I can drink, being a minor.

And seriously, what is with that sake brand name, 'Bichunen' (Beautiful Middle-Aged Man)? In a way, isn't that even harder to buy than 'Bishonen' (Beautiful Boy)? I mean, the phrase 「buying a beautiful boy」 sounds way too scandalous... Oh dear, look at me. Ho-ho. I’m strictly talking about sake, you see?

Apart from Double-Maru-san being swarmed by girls, there’s another spot where someone is surrounded by women... or rather, ladies.

To put it bluntly, he’s surrounded by middle-aged aunties.

「I wonder what that crowd is about.」

「Who knows?」

We stopped and looked over; it seemed to be a stall run by Flora-chan (the fishmonger).

They’re doing hamayaki (seafood grilled at the beach)! Lovely!!

Ahhh~ the savory scent of charred squid and soy sauce is heavenly! It really feels like a fresh fish center!

As for the problematic crowd, it looks like His Highness-kun-san—the broken record of fish trivia—is at the center of it.

「Oh my, salted mackerel. That looks wonderful, doesn't it?」

It certainly does, Madam! Freshly grilled salted mackerel is guaranteed to be delicious!

「Mackerel is famous for spoiling quickly, so much so that it's often said they 'rot while still alive.' Generally speaking, fish become more noticeably fishy as their freshness drops, and in that sense, mackerel is a fish that loses its freshness easily and develops an odor quickly. To reduce that smell, methods include parboiling it and then quickly washing it in cold water before splashing it with sake, carefully wiping away any moisture that surfaces after salting it, or rubbing in ingredients like green onions or ginger.」

The Mackerel Prince’s trivia is as sharp as ever today...

And the madams surrounding him are doing a fantastic job.

You know, like the shills in a late-night home shopping program. Their reactions are a perfect match.

「Mackerel is famous for spoiling quickly... (Ooh!) Generally speaking, fish become more fishy as their freshness drops... (Eh—?!) To reduce that smell, methods include... (Wow! Clap clap clap)」

It’s basically like that.

It’s surprisingly engrossing to watch.

It’s similar to the phenomenon where you end up staring blankly at a late-night infomercial just because the TV happens to be on.

As I was vacantly watching His Highness-kun-san’s fish trivia corner, two gal-style girls passed behind us.

「Wait, isn't that the Crown Prince?」

「For real. Totally the Crown Prince~.」

They said this while snapping photos with the cameras they held.

「Totally the Crown Prince...」

Stop repeating that in such an unidentifiable tone, Franz-kun.

「So those girls actually recognize that it’s His Highness-kun-san.」

「Seems so... though I think you’d have to be blind not to recognize him.」

No need to poke holes in that logic.

「By the way, Milady, what's with 'His Highness-kun-san'?」

「It’s a special honorific bestowed upon those who are experts in fish.」

「Haa...?」

He tilted his head in confusion, but I certainly haven't said anything wrong.

Thinking about it, it's a strange name composed of 'Honorific Title + Honorific + Honorific,' but it’ll do.

The Fish Trivia Machine continues to pour out facts all by himself, and the surrounding madams provide perfectly synchronized reactions. Is there an AD somewhere holding up cue cards?

Meanwhile, Flora-chan is completely ignoring the whole group and just going about her business as usual.

That girl’s lack of wavering is actually kind of terrifying...

How can she ignore all of that so cleanly...?

Well, if she can handle it, there’s no problem.

Let's follow her lead and move on to the next thing.

***

Since it’s called a 'Square,' it is, of course, quite large. I’d love to describe its size using that famous Japanese unit of measurement, 'X number of Tokyo Domes,' but unfortunately, that unit means absolutely nothing to someone from the countryside.

Let's just arbitrarily say it's the size of one Tokyo Dome.

I don't know how big the Dome actually is, but I'm guessing it’s pretty big.

Trudging across this "pretty big" square, we found a stall with a long line.

This area seemed to be the space for the Third District.

「I wonder what the line is for?」

There seems to be a booth further ahead, but I can't see it from here...

Franz stood on his tiptoes to peer over the crowd, then settled back down with a puzzled expression.

「It looks like... some kind of 'Legal Consultation Office.'」

The Lineup That! Laws (Self-Censored)!!

I want to make a joke so bad!! I really, really want to point that out!!!

No. I need to calm down.

Maybe I'll look at the shopping district map. Let's see, Third District...

Ah, there is one legal office. Maybe the lawyer from there is doing an outreach booth.

Wait, there's even a detective agency! What is up with the shop lineup in the Third District?! And the detective agency has a café on the first floor! What if there's a kid detective there?! Murder cases would break out every single day in the Capital!!

As I was thinking that, I witnessed an old guy trying to cut into the long line.

Cutting is a no-go. You should line up properly.

A small argument broke out between the old guy trying to cut in and the lady he was trying to cut in front of.

Then, someone made a dashing entrance.

「Haa~... what’s this? Everyone's having fun at the event and we’ve got trouble?」

A melancholic sigh and a husky voice that sounded like it had been tempered by alcohol. And a way of speaking that made you want to call her "Big Sister."

But her body is a yellow circle!

And on that body are tiny, round eyes and a mouth formed into a smile!

Once again, only arms and legs poked out from the cute body... Did all three shopping districts really need to agree on that specific shape...?

The arms emerging from the yellow circle were clad in a pure white fur coat. I can't even begin to process the fur coat.

And the long, slender, straight legs were in leopard-print leggings and gold pumps.

I’ll say it again: Who is choosing the people inside these things?!!

「Now, tell me what happened. Talk to your girl, Maarl-san.」

Maarl-san!!

Is there some kind of rule for the naming and casting of these people?!

「...Another intense one has appeared.」

「Yeah... she’s got that 'Western Region' level of intensity...」

People from the Western region might object to that. But as someone from Eastern Japan, I have this image that 'Leopard Print = The West.'

There’s also the 'Leopard Print = The Bubble Economy' image, but this country’s economy is stable; it’s not caught up in some unstable, hollow boom like that.

「Oh, excuse me, you've gotta hear this! This man tried to cut the line!」

「I didn't cut! I was originally standing here! I just had to go take a leak, so I stepped out for a second to go to the toilet!」

「Even so, if you left the line once, the right thing to do is go to the back!」

「Right thing my foot! I'm tellin' ya, I was here first!」

No matter how you look at it, the lady is right.

The line continues behind her. Even if she let him in, the people lined up behind her wouldn't be happy about it.

「From what I hear, it sounds like you’re the one in the wrong.」

Maarl-san spoke to the old man.

The lady nodded vigorously, while the man’s eyebrows shot up in anger.

「Hah?! Who the hell are you anyway, you giant round ball!」

「Who? I told you just now, didn't I? I’m Maarl. I’m the one who runs things around here.」

Do the mascots run the shopping districts?!

「Now, you get yourself to the back of the line. Don't go making a scene in a place like this. It won't do you any favors.」

「I told you! I was standing here originally!!」

The old guy just wouldn't give it up...

「I don't give a damn about how it was 'originally.' If you can't even do the right thing, aren't you a disgrace to men?」

「...Shut the hell up!!」

The man gave Maarl-san’s fluffy yellow body a hard shove.

The lady let out a loud 「Kyaa!!」 ...Actually, that lady has a really loud voice.

At her blood-curdling scream, the surroundings took notice. Well, of course they would.

「Oh, now, don't get so worked up. Gathering a crowd isn't really my style.」

「What are you talking about?! Seriously, what the hell are you?!」

Finally, the man entered a punching stance and pulled his right arm back.

Big Sister Maarl didn't flinch at all! She’s so cool!

Just as the man was about to bring his arm down, someone grabbed it firmly from behind.

「Raising a hand to a lady is not something I can admire.」

That low, quiet voice—it was Maru-san!!

He’s all in pink again today! Something terrible must have happened, because the costume is lightly covered in soot. Thanks for your hard work, Maru-san!!

The man, his arm caught, turned around and looked aghast.

I get it. Out of all the shopping district mascots, Maru-san is by far the scariest-looking.

「W-who are you...?」

The man's voice was trembling.

That’s what happens when a creature that defies common sense appears. I understand.

「I am Maru, the mascot of the First District Shopping District. I do not know the circumstances, but it is wrong to hit a defenseless woman.」

「He was trying to cut the line.」

Big Sister Maarl said with a chuckle.

「I told him to get to the back, but he wouldn't listen.」

「I see.」

Maru-san nodded with a slight forward lean.

He then twisted the man's arm behind his back and started walking him away.

「Now, let us line up again. If you refuse, and if you continue to be violent here, we shall have the Knights take custody of you.」

「Ow! Ow-ow-ow!! Okay! Fine! Just let go of me, you monster!!」

At those words, Big Sister Maarl placed a dainty finger under the man’s chin.

The Big Sister Chin-Lift!! Even though her body is a circle, she’s so sexy!

「Don't go calling people 'monsters.' If you keep a heart like that, you're the one who'll turn into a monster.」

「Sh-shut up!」

Old man, why are you blushing?! Though I think I kind of understand why!

I mean, Big Sister Maarl’s 'Alluring Woman Aura' is incredible! Her body is a circle, and she looks like a fancy mascot, but her mysterious aura is something else!

The man was led to the back of the line, with Maru-san nudging him along.

Big Sister Maarl turned toward the lady who started it all.

「And you, don't use such harsh words. If you’re a woman, you need the grace to handle a foolish man and keep him in line.」

「I’ve had this personality for over fifty years. It’s not gonna change now. ...Maarl-san, was it? Thanks.」

As she spoke, the lady took a piece of candy out of her bag and pressed it into Maarl-san’s hand. It was a black sugar candy. The classic 'Ame-chan' candy for aunties.

「Fufu. Thank you. I’ll take it.」

Maarl-san pinched the candy between her fingertips and gave it a little wave.

What is with that allure...?

Big Sister Maarl stared at the candy in her hand for a moment, then retracted her arm into her torso. She seemed to be rummaging around... is she eating the candy?

Just as I thought that, an arm poked back out.

In her hand was a quilted black leather cigarette case. Big Sister, you smoke?!

「...How does she even smoke that? Doesn't it get all smoky inside?」

「It looks more dangerous than smoky.」

If she's not careful, that costume is going to catch fire, right?

Also, Big Sister, please go to a smoking area.

「Um...」

The one who spoke to her was Maru-san.

「Hmm? ...Ah, thanks for earlier. You were a help.」

「No, I didn't do much. Are you alright? Any injuries...?」

「None at all. Even if he’d hit me, I’ve got this. It wouldn't really hurt.」

Big Sister patted her own body with a pon-pon.

True, it looks like it would make a great cushion. Though I have no idea what it's like inside.

「Do you smoke?」

「Hmm? Oh, yeah, I do.」

「It may be intrusive of me, but... I believe ladies should refrain from smoking. For the sake of... your health.」

At Maru-san’s words, the Big Sister let out a chuckle.

「It’s not just intrusive, it’s meddling.」

「...My apologies.」

「Oh, no, no. It’s nothing you need to apologize for. Besides...」

She trailed off and retracted her hand into her torso again. When the hand sprouted back out, it was empty.

「I don't dislike a man who meddles.」

With that, she gave Maru-san a wave and walked away.

So cool...

She is incredibly cool...

Maru-san stood there rooted to the spot, watching Big Sister Maarl’s retreating back.

I had definitely just witnessed the beginning of a romance between a pink circle and a yellow circle...

*****

Apparently Pragmata was created in attempt to increase Japanese declining birthrate...., here comes your trivia corner.

Ann realizes that Double-Maru (the blue mascot) isn't a mistake, but a calculated business move because the Second District is the "fashion district." In Japan, districts like Harajuku or Ginza have specific "vibes." The Second District is clearly the high-fashion/beauty hub. The "mascot" isn't there to be cute; he’s there to be a charismatic stylist. His harsh critiques of the girls' hair are actually a "Sales Funnel" to get them into the district's hair salons.

Ann spots a sake brand called Bichunen and finds it harder to buy than Bishonen (Beautiful Boy).Bishonen is a real, famous brand of sake in Japan.

The Crown Prince (Mackerel) is surrounded by "shill" madams who react to his fish facts like an infomercial audience. Japanese shopping channels (like QVC or Shop Channel) are famous for having guests in the background who gasp 「へぇー！」 (Hee~) or 「えぇー!?」 (Eee~!?) at every single mundane detail. The Crown Prince isn't being a "cool royal"; he’s being a TV shopping host. The madams aren't fans of his looks; they are fans of his "useful household tips," turning a high-stakes romance lead into a daytime TV personality.

Ann calls the Prince "Denka-kun-san" (His Highness-kun-san). This is a linguistic pile-up. Denka (His Highness) is a title. Kun is for peers/younger males. San is general polite. Combining all three is grammatically nonsensical and mocks his status. It’s the verbal equivalent of calling a King "Lord Mr. Buddy."

Ann sees a detective agency with a café on the first floor and fears a "Kid Detective" will cause daily murders. This is a direct parody of the massive franchise Detective Conan (Case Closed). The protagonist is a child detective who lives above a café (Café Poirot), and wherever he goes, a murder inevitably occurs.

The Joke: Maarl-san (the yellow mascot) has a husky voice, wears leopard print, and hands out "Ame-chan" (candy). This is the ultimate "Osaka Auntie" (Osaka no Obachan) stereotype. Women from the Kansai region are famously portrayed as bold, wearing animal prints, and being obsessed with giving out small candies to strangers.

Maru-san (Pink) saves Maarl-san (Yellow) and they have a "hard-boiled" romantic exchange. This parodies "hard-boiled" film noir or yakuza movies where a tough guy protects a "dame," and they exchange witty, cynical dialogue.

The Joke: Maarl-san performs a "Chin-Lift" on the old man who tried to hit her. The Ago-kui is a famous "moe" trope in Otome games/Shoujo manga where the lead man lifts the heroine's chin to look into her eyes.

Thank you for reading. If you want to help my hobby please download and install LDP9 with my link down below. Just Click the small yellow LDPlayer Banner.