Fresh Food 18
If You Just Label it a Festival, Things Usually Work Out (Includes Illustrations)
*****
Nobody had bothered to tell me, but apparently, I had a fiancé.
Moreover, since it was decided when I was seven, it's been about nine years already...
When I confronted my father about why he hadn't told me, he just laughed and said, 「I thought your Mommy had told you.」
So, I turned to my mother and pressed her with a 「Why?!」 only to be told, 「I was just sure your Daddy had already told you...」
Well then, what about the butler, who seems much more reliable than these two airheaded parents?! When I asked him, he gave me a perfectly reasonable answer: 「Normally, such matters are discussed by the Master or the Mistress.」
My engagement, so to speak, is basically just a verbal promise.
There was no written pledge, no seeking permission from His Majesty... nothing like that at all.
Actually, in this world, there aren't really any restrictions based on social status for noble marriages. The same goes for the royals. The Royal Family even uses "An Open Royal Court" as their slogan, trying to increase points of contact with the commoners.
But considering that Royal Family includes that Crown Prince and the King's brother... I can't help but think maybe they shouldn't be too open. Sometimes, silence is golden.
Since it’s that kind of engagement, I could totally pull a 「I'm breaking off my engagement with you!」 move if I wanted to. ...Though, it's not even a big enough deal to warrant calling it a "breakup" or anything.
And the reason the partner is—of all people—Franz, is apparently because 「With Franz, it feels like you can just keep going on without anything changing.」
Well, I mean, I certainly agree with that, but...
Also, according to my mother, 「Ann, when you were little, didn't you used to say, 'I'm gonna be Franz's bride!'?」
I have absolutely, positively, zero memory of that!
Besides, that kind of statement is probably rooted in the same logic as 「I'm gonna marry Daddy when I grow up.」
Why did you take it seriously...
Could this be the development for that popular Isekai genre, the 'Engagement Annulment' story?!
...No, in those, the 'young lady is the one who gets dumped' by the male partner...
Plus, even if I broke this verbal promise of an engagement, I doubt any drama would be born from it... And on top of that, I have no intention of becoming a nun or anything...
There certainly are convents in this country, but there are overwhelmingly more temples. There are even nunneries.
But if I joined a temple, the food would be strictly vegetarian! A life without meat!!
By the way, I wonder what religion those convents follow...? Christianity? Eh? Was there even a Christ here? And as for the temples, what religion are they? In my past life, my family were parishioners of a Soto Zen temple, but I'm suspicious of whether these are even Buddhist temples to begin with... I wonder if they even have the Heart Sutra?
While I was busy thinking about various trivial and pointless things, the days went by.
I thought for a split second that it would be awkward to face Franz... but from the very next day, he displayed his usual lack of motivation at full throttle, so I went back to my usual self as well.
Then, one day.
I received yet another letter from Hana-chan.
Apparently, three of the Royal Capital's shopping districts are holding a joint event.
Its name is the 'Shopping District Festival.' ...I mean, you can't just slap 'Festival' onto everything and expect it to work...
The event in the First District the other day ended in a massive success, and when the other two districts heard the rumors, they reportedly approached the First District's association chairman asking if they could use the same plan.
They could have just held an event themselves without asking permission.
But the chairman was so moved by their spirit in coming to show proper respect that he supposedly said, 「In that case, let's just bundle 'em all together and throw one big, flashy bash, ya rascals!」
Apparently, the association chairman is a true-blue child of the Capital.
The catchphrases of a Capital local are, naturally, 「Don't be ridiculous, blast it, you rascal!」
...Where in that true-blue Capital heart of his did Maru-san’s conceptual image manage to stick...?
Anyway, this 'Shopping District Festival' is supposed to take place this weekend at the Fountain Square in the center of the Capital.
They've even obtained proper permission from the administration.
...Well, with the Freshness Prince and the Mackerel Prince right at the center of that 'administration,' I'm sure getting permission was a breeze...
The three districts are joining forces to host various stalls and such.
Hana-chan had written, 『Fountain Square is only about a twenty-minute walk from your house, Ann-san, so please come by.』 ...Thanks for sensing my circumstances where I can't even get a carriage...
And then, the day of the event.
Today, as always, my escort was the usual Franz-kun. ...It seems everyone in the house thinks that me going out with Franz is a 'date.'
I told Franz he should deny it too, but he just gave his usual zero-motivation reply: 「Haa...」
Fountain Square was incredibly lively.
Since it’s a square, there isn't really a specific entrance, but I saw a corner marked 'Information Booth,' so I stopped by.
I got maps for the three districts and a floor plan of today's venue.
As a bonus, I also received a sticker that I didn't quite understand...
...What's this? This round thing... There are some numbers on it, but surely not... Anyway, this sticker has an incredibly cheap design...
「There aren't many stickers as useless as this one...」
「You could just stick it on the carriage or something.」
「Eh? You want to stick this on, Milady?」
「No, I don't want to stick it on.」
Maybe it could plug a hole in a torn paper screen or a sliding door? Though you'd be forced to keep staring at this picture.
As I walked along talking, there he was, just as expected!!
In one corner, the light-blue round one from the sticker!!
「...As I thought, these numbers... could they possibly be the mascot for each district?」
「Yeah, I get that feeling too...」
The First District has our familiar Maru-san. The Second District has the light-blue 'something.' The Third District has a cute little thing that actually deserves the name of a 'yuru-chara' mascot.
The light-blue 'something' also had only arms and legs sticking out of a round torso. Can they not change that basic shape...?
However, unlike Maru-san, the feet were in distressed denim and boots, and the arms looked like a regular long-sleeved shirt. If the torso wasn't a circle, wouldn't it be somewhat stylish?
It is a circle, though.
That light-blue round guy was saying things like, 「The Capital is whispering to me to 'shine brighter'...」
Seriously, who is choosing the people inside these things?!
As I was watching the light-blue round guy, I overheard a conversation between two men nearby. Apparently, they were talking about some girls shopping at the stalls.
「That girl’s feet are super wobbly,」 one man said with a laugh, referring to a girl at a stall wearing slightly high heels. Maybe she wasn't used to them, because her steps looked a bit precarious.
「She shouldn't force herself to wear heels that high. Her hair and makeup are all done up like she's really trying, but it's like, 'nobody's even looking at you,' ya know?」
「Tell me about it. Honestly, it's more of a turn-off. I bet once that makeup(stuff) comes off, it’s a 'who the hell are you?!' level of catfish makeup, right?」
「Gotta be. Why else would you paint it on that thick?」
「Right?」
It was a commentary full of thorns and malice, but the two saying it were dressed in jeans and sweatshirts that looked barely better than loungewear. Their hair was a bit messy, too.
Plus, they weren't even particularly handsome.
I was thinking, 'Who are you guys to laugh at others?' when that light-blue guy walked right up to them.
「Hey, you average-looking joes!」
「Huh?」
「Eh?」
The two who were addressed turned around and looked horrified at the light-blue round thing standing there.
...If you turn around and see that, you're bound to make that face...
「You guys were just laughing at that girl(kitten) over there, weren't you?」
「Kitten... you say?」
If someone calls a girl a 'kitten,' anyone would be bewildered. I get it.
「I heard you mention 'catfish makeup,' but I bet you average-looking joes are the type who think 'natural makeup means wearing very little,' aren't you?」
The round guy said with a smirk, and the two average joes argued back, though they were still confused.
「I mean, isn't that actually the case?」
「Is that so?」
Franz, who was watching the developments with me, asked.
「If you're a genuine beauty, you might be able to pull off no-makeup. But that's not what 'natural makeup' is.」
I'm sure this is a difficult concept for men to grasp.
The light-blue round guy took a step closer to the average joes. Because his torso was big and round, the pressure was immense.
The two average joes took a step back as he approached.
「Let me teach you average-looking joes! 'Natural makeup' is absolutely NOT 'wearing very little'!!」
「Wha-What was that?!」
Boy, you guys sure are good at playing along, average joes.
「'Natural makeup' is the name of a makeup technique! It just uses various techniques to make it look natural! In reality, it's a finished product made by slathering on toner, moisturizer, concealer, base color, primer, foundation, powder, and various other things!!」
Blue-guy, you're well-informed!
And Franz, you don't need to give an unimpressed 「Heh...」! If you're not interested, just ignore it!
「Natural makeup takes far more time than makeup that simply doesn't hide the heavy layers! Also, it costs money!」
Yes! Exactly, Blue-guy!!
The blue guy smirked again and took another step toward the gaping average joes. They backed away.
「'Cute' can be created.」
「...Huh?」
The average joes looked even more stunned.
「It's exactly as it sounds: 'Cute' is something created through effort! Polishing makeup techniques, practicing hair arrangements, researching trendy clothes in fashion magazines! 'Cute' for these kittens is built upon a mountain of time, money, and labor!!」
Blue-guy pointed a finger at the average joes with a sharp Bishi! ...Oh no, he’s starting to look a little cool...
「On that note, look at yourselves! Wearing sweatshirts that look like loungewear, with jeans on the bottom just for going out! Wearing whatever sneakers happened to be at the entrance! You probably just ran a comb through your hair!! At most, you probably just washed your face and shaved!」
「...I mean, isn't that enough?」
「Right?」 the average joes agreed, nodding to each other.
「While these kittens are spending hours creating 'Cute,' you guys, who take ten minutes(ten minutes) from waking up to leaving the house, have no right to laugh at them!!」
A scattered applause broke out from the surroundings.
Before I knew it, girls had stopped to watch the exchange.
Realizing this, the average joes looked uncomfortable.
「Listen up, average-looking joes! Kittens don't make themselves cute for your sake! And it's not for handsome guys, either! It's for the kittens themselves!!」
Once again, Blue-guy pointed with a sharp Bishi!! at the average joes. And the girls applauded his words.
I mean, Blue-guy seems like he'd be popular... Is the person inside a host or something? He knows a lot about girls' fashion stuff.
「And you average-looking joes, polish yourselves for your own sake! Right now you're 'below-average joes,' but if you polish yourselves, you should be able to become 'above-average'!」
「...Is that true...?」
One of the average joes took a step toward Blue-guy.
「It’s true. I never utter a lie. If I ever tell a lie, it will be... when my policy dies...」
「...What is he even saying?」
Franz said in a fed-up voice, but that's probably a line you don't need to understand.
Suddenly, the blue guy retracted both arms into his round torso with a shloop!
It looked like he was rummaging around inside.
After a bit, both arms sprouted back out with another shloop!
In one hand, he held some scraps of paper.
「I'll give these to you!」
The blue guy said, holding out the pieces of paper.
「...What are these?」
「Discount coupons for a hair salon in the Second District! If you turn these in and say I gave them to you, you can get a haircut for a thousand yen instead of the usual five thousand!」
「What a steal!!」
What is that? I kind of want one too!
「...I don't think it would do you much good even if you got one, Milady.」
Well, yeah. My servants cut my hair for me.
「Furthermore, if you use this other coupon too, a hair color that's normally three thousand yen is only a thousand!」
「A total steal!!」
「Haa...」
Franz-kun might not understand, but creatures known as girls are weak to a 'good deal.' They'll buy clothes they'll clearly never wear just because they were 「cheap」 at a sale. That's just what a girl is...
「Take these and go to the salon! The order should be 'I'll leave it up to you'!」
The two average joes looked at each other, then hesitantly reached out and took the discount tickets from the blue guy.
Then, as if remembering, they looked at him.
「Come to think of it... what's your name?」
Asked this, the blue guy smirked again.
「Double-Maru-sa...」
Double-Maru!
His torso is round, and he does have a giant 'Maru' circle drawn on his face! Could it be because the First District was Maru-san?!
「In that case, we'll take these.」
The average joes waved the tickets as they left, while Double-Maru-san called after them, 「Make sure you go!」
「What is wrong with this country's shopping districts...?」
I could do nothing but nod at Franz's exasperated mutter.
*****
You thought Ann gonna have her romance arc, well too bad here is your trivia corner.
2. The "Bride to Daddy" Logic
Ann’s mother justifies the engagement because Ann said she wanted to marry Franz when she was seven. In Japan, it’s a common trope for little girls to say, "I want to marry Papa when I grow up." Ann points out that a child’s whim should be treated as a cute phase, not a legally binding contract. The absurdity lies in her parents taking the toddler-logic of a seven-year-old as a serious life decision.
Ann considers fleeing to a convent to escape the engagement but realizes the country has more Buddhist-style temples than Christian-style convents. Shojin Ryori (traditional Buddhist temple food) is strictly vegetarian. Ann’s "spiritual" crisis is immediately defeated by her gluttony. She would rather be stuck in a confusing engagement than live a life where she can't eat meat.
The shopping district chairman speaks in heavy Edo-period slang (Te-yan-dei!, Berabo-me!). This is the "Edokko" (Child of Edo) stereotype—people from old Tokyo known for being hot-headed and stubborn but big-hearted.
The mascot for the Second District is "Double-Maru," who is just a blue circle with "fashionable" legs. This parodies the Yuru-chara (loose mascot) culture in Japan, where every small town has a mascot that is often "so bad it's good" (kimo-kawaii).
Double-Maru gets into a heated argument with two "average joes" about what "natural makeup" actually is. A common complaint from women in Japan is that men think "natural makeup" means "no makeup," when it actually requires more products and time to look "effortlessly" beautiful.
Double-Maru shouts, 「Cute can be created!」 (Kawaii wa tsukureru). This is a famous real-world marketing slogan from the Japanese cosmetic brand Bioré (Kao). By quoting a famous 2000s commercial slogan, the mascot confirms that he is likely another reincarnated person or that the game’s world-building is intentionally "leaking" Japanese pop culture.
The Joke: Double-Maru says, 「If I ever tell a lie, it will be... when my policy dies.」 This is a parody of "cool" anime/manga protagonist dialogue, often associated with characters who have a "hard-boiled" or chuunibyou personality.
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