「I"m Having a Baby」So My Husband Told Me
Evil Spirit, Begone!
Translated by: S3
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*****
Exhausted, I fell into a sleep filled with a very delicious dream.
「Ufufufufu, a sweet cake with plenty of cream, topped with honey and chocolate... The sweet, sweet cake is ready. Time to eat...」
「Oi, wake up! If you eat that, you'll get fat even in a dream!」
「I refuse!!!!」
Who dares disturb my blissfully happy dream?!
The moment I heard the taboo word "fat," I sprang up and glared at the owner of the voice. ...Or so I intended.
However.
「Eh, there's no one here?」
Right, in the direction I glared... where the voice should have come from, there was no one. All I could see were the curtains swaying in the breeze and the crib where the baby slept soundly.
「Hmm, was I half-asleep?」
I thought I was dreaming of cake, but maybe I was having a parallel dream? Am I even capable of such a skillful feat?
As I scratched my head thinking this, a voice said,
「Finally awake, you glutton.」
「It wasn't a dream!」
I hurriedly looked toward the voice, saw no one again, and looked around frantically.
Then, the blood drained from my face.
「Could this be the rumored ghost?!」
Have I finally developed a sixth sense?!
Just as I turned pale, the voice said, 「Are you an idiot?」 which sobered me up immediately.
No, wait. Let's assume for the sake of argument that ghosts exist. That's fine. It's not fine, but let's say it is.
The problem is his foul mouth.
「Even if you have lingering regrets in this world, I will not tolerate being called an idiot by a ghost!」
I'm pissed, so I'm going to the kitchen to get salt!
As I tried to leave the room, fuming, the evil spirit spoke again,
「Hey, wait! Listen to what a person has to say!」
「Ghosts are no longer people! Therefore, I will not listen!」
「I am a person! I'm a living human!」
My feet stopped dead at the content of his words.
What did he just say?
「A living human? Then are you an invisible man?」
I've heard rumors that such magic exists. But I've never actually seen it. I mean, they turn transparent, so it's not like you can see them anyway.
However, the owner of the voice said, 「Wrong.」
That was when I realized. That foul-mouthed voice sounded distinctly young and lisping.
Could it be?
No, surely not.
That's impossible.
But maybe...?
I held a conference in my brain.
Based on the conclusion, I timidly walked toward the center of the room.
What is there, you ask? ...It is the crib where the central figure of this room, the baby, sleeps.
I arrived and peeked inside gently.
「I'm going to pretend I didn't see that.」
I stepped away from the crib and headed back to the sofa to sleep.
「Don't you run away from reality!」
But he wouldn't allow it. To force me to face reality, he threw his rattle from inside the crib.
「Ukyaa?!」
「What kind of noise is a noblewoman making?」
「W-What is happening?!」
I picked up the rattle rolling at my feet and reluctantly headed back to the crib.
When I peeked inside, the baby had his eyes wide open, staring at me... He smirked and said,
「Yo. Finally looking at me?」
The next instant, I snatched the baby up and dashed out of the room.
「T-The baby is possessed by an evil spirit! Husband! Lord Cloud~~~~!」
No, wait, if it's an evil spirit, should I call a priest?!
As I fell into a complete panic, the baby in my arms shouted,
「I-Idiot, calm down!」
Eeeeek!
*****
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