← Previous Chapter | Chapter Index |Next Chapter →

THE WITCH AND THE HERO

Treat me to a Ko-Fi to give me more motivation!!!

*****

Loosely gripped in Rob's hand was a round black object that looked a lot like a chunky pocket watch. A palm pistol. It was a handgun small enough to fit right in the palm of your hand, though in the real world, its range and accuracy were honestly pretty terrible. It didn't hold many bullets and had a tiny caliber, but when it came to close-quarters brawls, it was an incredibly effective weapon.

In fact, Rob hadn't even known guns like this existed; he had just manifested it out of pure necessity during his fifteen years of constant warfare. Since it was strictly for ultra-close combat, its accuracy was naturally on the lower side. It only held a single round, but for Rob, reloading was as simple as thinking about it, so a one-shot capacity wasn't a dealbreaker in a tight spot. Ever since his power dwindled into "Phantom Firearms," certain restrictions had been placed on what he could create, but even so, both its physical and non-physical rounds still packed the punch of a heavy large-caliber gun.

No matter what kind of crazy position he found himself in, all he had to do was blast his way out with a gun. Clumsy punches, kicks, or traditional weapons were totally unnecessary. Don't get hit. Don't get pinned down. Don't die. That was the absolute sum total of Rob's martial arts.

The dogs let out low, menacing growls and bared their fangs at his bizarre fighting style, but Rob was wearing a deep frown of his own. These five dogs were tough and fast. On top of that, even though he had an extraordinary ability, he didn't actually have a firearm license here, so he couldn't just whip out a flashy gun and start drawing attention to himself. He needed a gun that was effective against dogs but low-key enough not to turn heads. As he was racking his brain trying to remember if he even had a gun like that, his eyes drifted past the pack of dogs. Flitting onto the rooftop out of nowhere was the 'World-Crossing Witch' herself, Berta Andele. Completely ignoring Rob, she gently patted three of the dogs—who had successfully been recalled at some point and were now whimpering while clutching their sore heads.

「...So they *are* your dogs. You really shouldn't let them run around without a leash.」

「A watchdog barking at a suspicious character is just doing its job, right? It's your own fault for sneaking around and taking aim at me.」

「Well, you're the criminal here, so you've only got yourself to blame.」

While Rob and Berta were busy sizing each other up, the remaining two uninjured dogs slowly backed up, standing defensively in front of Berta like statues as if to say *no one gets past us*.

「Oh, please. The Alliance just went ahead and put out that warrant on a whim. I literally have no idea what I'm supposed to have done!」

To her, the marriage fraud was just a messy breakup, the corporate embezzlement and theft were just gifts from sweet-talking men, and as for violating the Interdimensional Laws... what on earth was so wrong with crossing the boundaries by herself anyway? Aside from the marriage fraud cases, none of the men Berta had been involved with had ever actually gone to the authorities. Instead, it was always their furious wives, jilted lovers, corporate subordinates, or kids who ended up reporting the damages. And when it came to the marriage fraud, Berta couldn't recall ever explicitly promising to marry a single one of them.

「Honestly, I don't really care about any of that. I don't know the first thing about Alliance laws anyway.」

Since he had no clue what their laws even were, he couldn't exactly use them as a moral compass. The only reason he had suggested tracking her to Arcelia was so he could slip away and buy some bullets. Even that plan relied entirely on Arcelia's own burning desire to capture Berta. He just hadn't anticipated her being such a reckless hothead. He had zero intention of catching Berta himself just because she was a wanted criminal, but if someone else wanted to try, he wasn't about to stop them either. As someone who knew practically nothing about the Alliance, that was Rob's current stance.

「Oh my? Then why were you aiming at me? Do you have a little crush on that girl?」

「For now, I'm just helping out as long as there are no messy strings attached. But you're the one who seems to have taken a liking to her, right? You could've easily given us the slip instantly with your skills. If you didn't enjoy it, you wouldn't have stuck around to play tag with her.」

「She is quite adorable, isn't she? But that's not the only reason. I was just a little curious why a girl who isn't even a local field investigator was wandering around a place like this. Hmm... could the reason be you? You do seem to have quite the extraordinary ability.」

Though her lazy, seductive charm and breezy tone could easily fool someone, the emerald eyes beneath her troubled brows were staring at Rob with absolute coolness.

「Who knows? Why don't you ask her yourself?」

「She seems way too stubborn for that, so no thank you. Oh well. More importantly, aren't you going to tell me why you shot at me?」

「I just didn't really like what you did, that's all.」

Rob stole a quick glance down at the absolute disaster area the alleyway had become.

「Hmm, but that's only because she came chasing after me. Besides, if they file the paperwork, the Alliance will probably compensate them, right?」

「The point is you shouldn't be causing trouble for innocent bystanders. And besides, I have no idea if this Alliance of yours actually pays out quickly. How long does an investigation and a payout even take? Half a day? A full day? A whole week? How are they supposed to make a living in the meantime?」

Not every single person would be completely ruined, but you couldn't guarantee that nobody would suffer. On top of that, if something irreplaceable got broken, no amount of money could ever fix it—like a secret family recipe sauce perfected over twenty years, or a well-worn tool of the trade that fit perfectly in an artisan's hand.

「That sounds like the Alliance's problem, not mine. And besides, that girl is just as guilty as I am, right?」

「Well, obviously. Both Arcelia and I will take responsibility too. Look, as long as you clean up your own mess, you can do whatever the hell you want after that.」

「No way~ That sounds like a total drag.」

The moment she said it, Berta's face went blank. Rob was pointing a finger-gun right at her.

「It would've been great if I could've just caught you, but I guess it can't be helped. You're really not going to help clean up?」

Trying to capture someone with a trick like "World-Crossing" was a logistical nightmare.

「So you really *are* an ability user. But still, no thank you~」

Berta vanished into thin air. At that exact instant, Rob pulled the trigger.

「...And that's me out of ammo. Well, at least it was a decent parting gift.」

She had pulled off a flawless escape. Shrugging at the semi-expected outcome, Rob let his "invisible" gun vanish, lowering his hand from the finger-gun pose. Before his fight with the Demon King, he might have been able to intercept a dimension-cross ability, but the current Rob had zero counters for it. A petty annoyance was the absolute best he could manage. The only reason he had used paint rounds on the royal castle back then was to avoid hurting his old comrades who lived there. This time, it really was just a final act of spite.

Rob suddenly felt a lingering gaze and turned around. The dogs had been left completely behind. They were staring at Rob with total bewilderment written all over their furry faces.

「「「「「...」」」」」

「...You guys are surprisingly goofy.」

Just as Rob sighed and reached for the gun at his hip, a magic circle materialized right under the dogs' feet, and they scrambled into it with visible relief, vanishing from sight.

***

「—Where is the witch?!」

By the time Arcelia finally made it up to the roof, Rob was the only one left standing there.

「She got away.」

Perhaps she had already anticipated his answer, because there wasn't a trace of disappointment on Arcelia's face.

「Understood. Let's go.」

Before Rob could even utter a word, she spun on her heel and marched right back down the stairs. Rob hurried after her, but Arcelia was surprisingly fast on her feet; by the time he finally caught up to her at the bottom of the stairs, she had already stepped out into the alleyway.

But the words Rob was about to say died in his throat.

Arcelia had already thrown herself into helping out the shopkeepers along the street, who were busy trying to pick up the pieces of their ruined stalls. Naturally, the looks the shop owners cast her way were complicated, to say the least. They understood the importance of the Alliance chasing down bad guys. But at the end of the day, these shopkeepers had a living to make. Sure, they could get compensated if they filed the paperwork, but whether it would cover the full amount or just half, and when that money would actually arrive, was anyone's guess. That lingering anxiety made them view Arcelia, an Alliance investigator, with a pretty critical eye. But Arcelia didn't let it stop her. Seeing her dedication, Rob silently pitched in and started clearing away the wreckage of the alleyway too.

「...Here, take these if you want 'em. We can't sell 'em like this anyway, and it'd be a shame to just throw 'em out.」

A middle-aged shopkeeper lady handed Rob and Arcelia a bag of bruised citrus fruits. A bit of colorful juice was leaking through the paper bag, but they were absolutely perfect for eating right then and there. The two of them offered their thanks and happily accepted the treat.

They kept rounds of the shops to help clean up right until the train's departure time, but during the work, Arcelia found herself staring intently at Rob more than a few times.

The truth was, because Berta's transmission magic had remained active, Arcelia had overheard every single word of Rob and Berta's conversation from start to finish. The collateral damage caused to civilians by her own blunder as an Alliance investigator, the biting critique of the Alliance from a wanted fugitive... and Rob's level-headed responses to it all. Arcelia couldn't help but worry that Rob, who knew next to nothing about the Alliance, might have been swayed by Berta's words.

***

Meanwhile, back at her hideout, Berta was sprawled out across her bed, squirming and writhing around. Although her world-crossing escape had been a success, she had completely underestimated Rob's firepower. The bullet he fired had flown at near-light speed, slicing clean through her defensive barrier and scoring a direct hit right in the center of her chest.

Due to some kind of restriction on his power, it hadn't left a single scratch on her. It sent a shiver down her spine to think about what would've happened if that bullet had been lethal, but the actual effect it did have was proving to be an absolute nightmare in its own way. The pinky-sized bullet hadn't harmed her voluptuous body at all, but it was currently crawling around beneath her skin like an hyperactive inchworm. No matter what she tried, she couldn't get rid of it, and it was just so, so incredibly ticklish.

「Ah... not there, hah...」

Falling onto her bed the second she returned to her hideout, Berta couldn't stop squirming.

In reality, the bullet's original effect wasn't nearly this playful. Once upon a time, a bullet burrowing into a target's body would ruthlessly shred their internal organs and devour their mana. But now that his power had dwindled into "Phantom Firearms," Rob had poured all his available attributes into giving it near-light speed and barrier-piercing properties. As a result, the payload had been watered down into a non-lethal, hyper-intense tickling sensation.

If she had still been in the heat of battle, the adrenaline probably would've let her endure it, but in a completely relaxed environment, it was impossible to ignore. Once she focused on it, she was completely at its mercy, left entirely to be played with. Sweat glistened on her curvaceous skin as she writhed around, her clothes disheveled.

Her familiar dogs, who had scrambled back to the hideout after her, were pacing around the bed in a total panic. Since Berta couldn't even handle it herself, there was absolutely nothing a pack of bipedal dogs could do except run in circles around their master.

The tickling torture lasted for a full twenty-four hours. As Berta lay panting exhaustedly on the bed, her loyal dog familiars diligently brought her towels and a glass of her favorite wine. Accepting the glass, Berta gently patted her dogs as a single, quiet murmur escaped her lips.

「...I am never, ever going to forgive him.」

As she sat up, the massive, fluffy waves of golden hair behind her back began to unfurl, spreading out slowly like the majestic feathers of a peacock.

*****

Bullet that gives you rainbow paint job then bullet that gives you tickle hell. I guess his ability turns into non-lethal somehow?

Thank you for reading. If you want to help my hobby please download and install LDP9 with my link down below. Just Click the small yellow LDPlayer Banner.