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That Guy I Saw Even in My Dreams

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*****

As autumn deepened, a letter arrived from Hana-chan.

It read: 「We’re planning a lucky draw event and a massive sale as a shopping district promotion. If you’re free, please do stop by.」

Enclosed was a flyer for the lucky draw; apparently, you get one lottery ticket for every thousand-yen purchase, and one auxiliary ticket for every hundred-yen purchase.

The grand prize was—wait for it—a three-day, two-night trip to the Rice Empire.

They really went all out!

With an event this high-stakes, I simply had to go see it.

...Plus, I had a faint sense of foreboding.

And so, once again, I have arrived at the District 1 Shopping District with Franz-kun in tow.

This week happens to be a three-day weekend: Saturday, Sunday, and Monday. Monday, by the way, is Respect for the Aged Day.

...Seriously, did this game really need to be set in another world...?

Well, whatever.

In any case, today is Saturday, the start of the long weekend.

The shopping district is incredibly lively.

People wearing happi coats are standing everywhere, handing out balloons to children passing by.

As I watched a child happily clutching a balloon string and smiled, thinking, 「How cute~,」 Franz tilted his head in puzzlement.

「Milady, do you happen to want a balloon?」

「Of course not!」

I mean, if they gave me one, I’d take it.

But really, what kind of person does he think I am?

An innocent noble lady (sixteen years old) who gets excited over balloons...

Half of me thinks that might actually work, while the other half thinks she’d just look like a total weirdo.

A toddler with a balloon came running by happily. As we passed each other, the balloon floated right at my eye level.

I was watching, thinking how heartwarming it was, when I suddenly froze at what caught my eye.

The balloon... had the face of that pink, round thing drawn on it...!!

She did it! She actually went and did it, didn't she, Hana-chan?!

And the bigwigs of the shopping district! You actually let that plan go through?!

「That's a scary-looking balloon, to the point of being slightly unnerving,」 Franz muttered as he watched the child run off playfully.

True, if you saw a whole bunch of those balloons bundled together, it would be terrifying.

We trudged through the shopping district, which was more crowded than usual.

Oh, look, they’re doing something like open-air stalls.

Restaurants without outdoor seating have set up tables—the kind that look like office folding tables—to sell light snacks. Passing a ramen shop, I saw them selling packs of sliced braised pork and bamboo shoots.

The rice dealer had a sign saying 「Compare the Brands!」 with five rice cookers lined up on the table, working away.

It really is important to let people 「get a taste of the shop,」 isn't it?

If people try something like this and find it delicious, they’ll think about coming back to do their proper shopping next time.

Besides, 「bargain」 and 「free」 are such enticing words!!

Just by walking, I was fed all sorts of things with people asking, 「Would you like a sample?」 Is this heaven?

Everything was so good that I ended up buying a pack of furikake made with crunchy plums, dried young sardines, and Nozawana greens.

「...Milady, what are you going to do with that?」

Franz asked me with a look of pure confusion as I stood there feeling quite satisfied with my bargain furikake—a whole kilogram for only seven hundred yen.

「What do you mean, 'what am I going to do'... is there any other use for it besides eating?」

Furikake exists to be eaten, doesn't it? Am I wrong?

「No, that’s not it... Ah—forget it. Just don't mind me.」

「What? What is it?」

「No, I said forget it.」

Franz waved his hand as if to signal that the conversation was over.

What was that all about?

...Oh.

Maybe it’s that. Did he want to point out that since we’re like "Medieval-ish Fantasy" nobility, we basically eat bread for every meal?

Like, 「Even if you buy furikake, you only ever eat bread, right?」

「Don't worry, Franz.」

「About what?」

To the baffled Franz, I puffed out my chest slightly with pride.

「I have my own rice cooker (three-cup capacity). And I have plenty of rice stored in my closet.」

Hehehe... I’m not lacking in that department!

I even have chili peppers tucked into the rice bags. That’s because in my past life, I once accidentally triggered a massive outbreak of rice weevils and saw a glimpse of hell. I’ve also had a massive outbreak of Indian meal moths.

Also, even if the bugs were having a full-blown stampede, I felt an overwhelming sense of guilt at the thought of "throwing away rice."

I wonder what that’s about?

Throwing away moldy bread only makes me feel like, 「What a waste,」 but throwing away rice gives me a crushing sense of guilt...

I suppose it’s because when I was little, my grandma kept telling me, 「There are seven gods in every grain of rice, so if you treat rice poorly, you'll be cursed.」 She also told me, 「If you leave rice on your plate, you'll go blind.」 I wonder if anyone else was told the same thing?

「...Milady, where exactly are you hiding this 'rice cooker' thing?」

To the utterly exasperated Franz, I puffed my chest out with a triumphant look.

「Under the bed!」

Most secrets are kept in that general vicinity! By the way, I also have an electric griddle hidden there.

There’s no real reason to hide it, other than it doesn't quite fit the aesthetic of a 「noble lady’s room.」

The griddle comes with a takoyaki plate, so I often have solo Suzu-Castella parties. Suzu-Castella is delicious.

「I’ll be coming to confiscate that later.」

「Why?! I bought that with my own allowance!」

Even though I’m a noble lady, I only get five thousand yen a month, and I worked so hard to save up and buy it!! It cost twenty thousand yen!!

「Noble ladies don't normally save up their allowance to buy rice cookers...」

「Oh, is it the age of clay pot rice then?!」

Clay pot rice is delicious, after all. But you can't cook it without a flame...

However, Franz just let out a long, deep sigh at my words.

「...That’s not what I meant...」

Well then, what did you mean?

As we walked through the shopping district, we came across a small crowd.

「There’s a bit of a crowd. I wonder what it is?」

「Who knows?」

As we walked over, I could hear the sound of a small child wailing at the top of his lungs.

Looking to see what was happening, I saw a little boy clutching a young woman’s leg—presumably his mother—and crying with all his might.

「What on earth is...」

I started to say, but the words died in my throat.

There was a 『thing』 crouched down, trying to meet the crying boy's eyes.

It was incredibly pink.

It was limitlessly round, and infinitely creepy-scary—.

She did it—Hana-chan—!!

This shopping district actually went and made that 'mascot character' for real!!

The boy scrambled behind his mother to get away from that pink thing.

The mother was smiling awkwardly, saying things like, 「See? It's not scary.」

No, it IS scary!! It's totally scary!! Of course he's gonna cry!!

And the quality of the mascot suit is terrifyingly high!!

Hana-chan’s drawing has been materialized into three dimensions exactly as it was!!

The mother was pushing the back of the boy clutching her leg, trying to encourage him toward the thing. But the wailing boy cried, 「NOOOOOO!!」 and clung even tighter to her leg.

Mommy, please stop! If you keep this up, it’s going to traumatize him for life!

The round thing that had been crouching stood up and gave the mother a bow.

「My apologies. It seems I have frightened your son...」

His voice was so deep!!

In Hana-chan’s concept, wasn't it supposed to be a woman?! No matter how you look at it, the person inside is definitely a man!!

「Oh, no, no. It’s not your fault, Maru-san, so please don't let it bother you.」

That thing’s name is 『Maru-san』?!

Couldn't they have come up with something a bit more creative?! And the intonation is just like "maru" as in "drawing a circle."

The body was a direct 3D recreation of Hana-chan’s "loose" (I don't even know if I can call it that) illustration. The slender legs growing out from it were so incredibly buff they were almost mesmerizing. The thighs were massive. And the muscle definition was sharp.

Those buff legs were encased in pink tights, ending in purple high heels. Since they were well-trained, the ankles were tight and toned—maybe even sexy, in a weird way.

The arms were thick, too. They were probably in a pink long-sleeved T-shirt or something, but the sleeves, which should have been loose, were stretched tight against the arms. And the arms were also incredibly buff.

Finally, on the hands were pink rubber gloves.

They were high-end rubber gloves with the cuffs cut to look like lace—high feminine power, and high price tag.

...Except for the mascot body, they hardly spent any money on this, did they? Though I suppose the moment you decide to make this suit, it’s a huge gamble. I almost want to tell them, 「What kind of judgment is this? You're just throwing money down the drain.」

Maru-san’s buffness is clearly that of a man. The voice is deep, and including the suit, the height easily exceeds two meters.

...The concept of an 「older sister,」「mother,」 or 「ideal woman」 is two hundred percent impossible, isn't it...?

The wailing boy was desperately pulling his mother’s hand, shouting, 「Let's go over there!!」 It seemed he wanted to get as far away from Maru-san as possible.

The mother gave a helpless smile, gave Maru-san a small nod saying, 「Well then, good luck,」 and was pulled away by the boy.

...I hope that child doesn't have nightmares tonight...

The round back of Maru-san as he watched the mother and son walk away somehow looked quite melancholic...

「Um...」

Maru-san looked so lonely that I spoke up without thinking.

Maru-san turned at the sound of my voice and said in a deep, gentle tone:

「May I help you? My lady.」

How gentlemanly!!

「Uh, well... good luck.」

As I spoke, I instinctively held out my hand as if asking for a handshake, and I heard Maru-san give a small, soft chuckle.

「Thank you. Please, enjoy your stay as well.」

Speaking calmly, Maru-san firmly shook the hand I had offered.

Even through the rubber glove, that hand was incredibly rugged.

After a firm handshake and a small bow, Maru-san gave a slight forward tilt of a bow in return.

The person inside is such a good person... and incredibly gentlemanly, too.

I can't see Maru-san as an 「older sister,」 but I certainly feel a lot of 「approachability」...

Keep it up! Maru-san (the person inside)!!

「...The choice of person for the inside is clearly wrong, isn't it?」

As we walked away from Maru-san, I quietly shook my head at Franz.

「But that’s what makes it good.」

「...If you say so.」

「I do.」

I’m sure I won't have any nightmares from today on. Because he’s such a good person!

I found myself suddenly becoming a bit of a Maru-san fan.

Anyway, we finally arrived in front of Hana-chan’s butcher shop.

The current time is 2:00 PM.

Hana-chan’s Fahrenheit Butcher Shop is open from 9:00 AM to 7:00 PM. Usually, they sell out before 7:00, so they effectively close around 6:30.

But right now, the shop’s shutters are closed.

And on the shutter is a notice written in Hana-chan’s handwriting.

『Closing early today as all items are sold out.』

Incredible!!

「Huh... that’s pretty amazing,」 Franz-kun remarked, giving a completely flat reaction. Don't you have even a little bit of 「sentiment」 in you?

「It really is. ...I wonder if I can at least say hello to Hana-san?」

「Want to try going around the back?」

Along with Franz, I stepped into what looked like a gap between buildings.

Going around to the back, there was a service entrance door and an intercom.

I gave the button a quick press and waited.

「Yes? Who is it?」

Whoa, it’s a man’s voice. Is it Taurus-kun?

「I am Ann, a friend of Hana-san. Is she in?」

「Please wait a moment.」

With that, the intercom cut off.

Is this a loading dock?

The intercom even had a plate saying 『Vendors please use this.』 I’m not a vendor, so I hope it was okay.

Well, it’s too late now.

Come to think of it, I called her 『Hana』 instead of 『Flora.』 But I guess if the person who answered was Taurus-kun, he wouldn’t find it suspicious.

After waiting a while, the door opened. The one who opened it was indeed Taurus-kun.

「Please, come in. ...Hana is a bit... well, she’s burnt out right now...」

Well, it’s 「closed because sold out」 at this time. The morning rush must have been something else. It’s no wonder she’s burnt out.

「Then, excuse me.」

I gave Taurus-kun a small nod and was let inside.

I was led to the shop's back room.

There, in the corner of a cramped room about the size of four and a half tatami mats, sat Hana-chan on a folding chair, slumped over in exhaustion.

I mean, that scene looks exactly like she 「burned out... to pure white ash...」!!

「Hana-san! Are you okay?! Are you alive?!」

I rushed over in a panic, and the burnt-out Hana-chan slowly raised her head.

「...Heh, no need to worry, old man...」

Who are you calling an old man?!

「Hana-san! Wake up!」

I grabbed Hana-chan’s shoulders and shook her back and forth vigorously, and she looked at me as if suddenly coming to her senses.

「Ah... Ann-san...?」

「Yes! I am certainly not the old man from Namidabashi!」

「G-Girl...」

「I am indeed a young lady, but I’m not the 'girl' you’re thinking of either!」

Come back to reality! Hana-chan!!

「Ann-san...」

「Yes!」

Was it really that bad this morning?!

After Hana-chan finally returned to reality, she told me that the morning was 「like a war zone...」

To coincide with the shopping district sale, her butcher shop was offering 「20% off all fresh meat」 and 「30% off all prepared side dishes.」

Of course it was crowded!!

「And there are... still two more days left in the sale...」

As she spoke, Hana-chan slumped over again as if burned out once more. Taurus-kun was watching her worriedly, rubbing her back.

「I’ll help out tomorrow, too. For today, let’s just eat, take a bath, and go to bed. Okay?」

「I have to... get the prep work done for tomorrow...」

「Yeah. I’ll help with that, too.」

Taurus-kun... You’re so devoted, what a good guy...

But it really does look like it’ll be a struggle.

I wonder if there’s anything I can do to help?

End of Excerpt

Characters and Terminology:

Antoine (Ann): The protagonist. A daughter of a Marquis and a reincarnated former Japanese person.
Flora (Hana): The heroine of the game. Runs the Fahrenheit Butcher Shop.
Taurus-kun (U-chan): The son of the Knight Commander and a love interest associated with the butcher shop.
Franz: Antoine's attendant and childhood friend figure.
Maru-san: The shopping district's pink, round mascot character. Despite the feminine concept, the person inside is a very buff, gentlemanly man.
Rice Empire: A superpower mentioned in the lucky draw.
Respect for the Aged Day: A Japanese public holiday.
Happi: A traditional Japanese straight-sleeved coat, often worn at festivals.
Furikake: A dry Japanese seasoning meant to be sprinkled on top of cooked rice.
Nozawana: A Japanese leaf vegetable.
Rice Weevil / Indian Meal Moth: Common pests that infest stored rice.
Namidabashi / Burned out to white ash: References to the classic boxing manga/anime Ashita no Joe.
Suzu-Castella: Small, bell-shaped sponge cakes.
Takoyaki: A ball-shaped Japanese snack made of a wheat flour-based batter and cooked in a special molded pan.
Gout: A form of inflammatory arthritis, often associated with rich diets.
Don't you have any judgment? You're throwing money down the drain (Don-pan Kane-dobu): A Japanese internet slang phrase mocking poor decision-making.

*****

The more you know....

The shopping district is holding a massive "Fukubiki" lottery with a trip as the top prize. This is a quintessential Japanese neighborhood trope. Shopping districts (shotengai) often hold these during sales. You spin a wooden octagonal drum, and a colored ball falls out (gold for the grand prize, white for a tissue pack).

Ann notes that the world has a three-day weekend because Monday is "Respect for the Aged Day." This is a real Japanese national holiday.

Ann hides a 3-cup rice cooker and an electric griddle under her bed like contraband. In many light novels, the "reincarnated Japanese person" craves white rice. While most protagonists use magic to find rice, Ann used her allowance to buy a mechanical rice cooker. It’s "hidden" because it’s a total aesthetic disaster for a noble lady’s room—it’s like finding a microwave hidden in a princess’s chamber in Versailles.

Ann feels immense guilt at the thought of throwing away rice because "seven gods live in one grain." This is a common Japanese saying used to teach children to finish their food. Even though she’s an aristocrat in a different world, she is still mentally "cursed" by her Japanese grandmother’s lectures. She can throw away moldy bread without a second thought, but one grain of rice is a spiritual crisis.

The mascot is a pink circle with "leg-day" buff legs and purple high heels. This parodies the Yuru-chara (mascot) boom in Japan. Some mascots are "cute," but others are "creepy-cute" (kimo-kawaii).

Hana is found sitting in a chair, slumped over, looking "completely white." This is one of the most famous visual parodies in manga/anime history. It refers to the ending of the boxing manga Ashita no Joe, where the protagonist Joe Yabuki dies (or is exhausted) in his corner after a final match.

Ann wants to say this phrase to the people who funded the Maru-san mascot. This is an internet slang abbreviation for "Donna handan da? Kane wo dobu ni suteru ki ka?" which translates to "What kind of judgment is this? Are you planning to throw your money into the gutter?"

Ann uses her hidden takoyaki plate to make "Suzu-Castella" (small bell-shaped cakes) alone. Takoyaki pans have spherical holes. If you put cake batter in them instead of octopus batter, you get sweet little round cakes.

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