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On a Distant Day, To the North [Part 2]

Translated by: ME

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---「Sister Isabella. You have a visitor.」

At those words, Isabella shrank back, catching her breath as she saw the man waiting for her.

(Crates...!)

The blood drained from her face instantly. Why now? Why did he have to come to a place like this? She instinctively tried to turn away, but the Mother Superior—the Grandma—would not permit her to leave.

「...Please, I beg of you...」

「I cannot, Sister Isabella. Master Crates has expressed a desire to speak with you regarding your secularization. Whether you accept or refuse is a matter for your own heart. Think for yourself and give him your answer.」

Since arriving here, Isabella had lived a life of quiet, sincere, and solemn prayer.

(Please, let Wellmy, Crates, and Iola live in peace.)

That was the prayer she offered to God every single day. Recognizing her devotion, Grandma had offered to use her influence if Isabella wished to return to secular life, but Isabella had refused time and again.

Life in the convent was harsh. That was only natural, as it was a place for women of noble birth who had committed some manner of sin. The other sisters often lamented the hardship, but for Isabella, a life of simply performing daily tasks in tranquility was both a punishment and a healing grace.

(If I could, I would like to end my days just like this.)

Isabella had originally come from an orphanage and was well-acquainted with poverty. Here, as she stared into the great void in her heart where her long-held hatred had finally vanished, she felt nothing but gratitude for the peaceful days. Her revenge was over. It didn't matter when she died. She wanted to dedicate the remainder of her life to prayer, and yet...

「...Grandma, please...」

She bowed her head in supplication.

「Isabella.」

The gentle voice coming from behind her, rather than from the woman in front of her, made her entire body stiffen.

「Please, just speak with me. ...Beyond that, I will force nothing upon you.」

Isabella squeezed her eyes shut. As she clasped her hands to her chest, she felt how rough and chapped they were, her fingers thin and bony. Her damaged hair was merely tied back beneath her cowl. Her face was lined with wrinkles, and she wore no makeup.

(I have no right to show my face to you.)

「Sister Isabella.」

Grandma called her name as if in admonishment. It seemed Isabella had no right to resist any longer.

Giving up, she kept her face downcast and sat in the poorly fitted visitor's chair, immediately covering her face with both hands. More than anyone else, she didn't want *him* to see her like this—shabby, aged, a sinner atoning for her crimes.

「Please go home, my Lord... Why have you come? Have you come to mock me? To see how wretched I've become?」

(Please, I beg of you, don't look at me.)

Her heart was in absolute turmoil. Even so, she did her best to play the part of a foolish woman. She had to; otherwise, she wouldn't be able to speak to him at all. She had done things so terrible she could never look him in the eye.

「I am not so idle that I would travel all this way just for that.」

「That's a lie. You've come to laugh at the woman who betrayed you and fell into ruin, haven't you?」

(I know. I know you aren't that kind of person. But a foolish woman who thinks only of herself would think that way. Please, Crates... think of me as a woman who can see nothing but herself. And then just go home. Don't speak to me so kindly. I'll start crying.)

「There is nothing to laugh at. ...Listen, Isabella. Ever since I met Wellmy, I've had a question. Did you really betray me?」

(!)

She drew a sharp, ragged breath. Why was he asking that? Why would he ask that now? She didn't want to talk about it. She didn't want to remember.

「...」

「From the day I lost you until I learned of Wellmy's existence, I was a mere shell of a man. After I met Wellmy... Isabella, the daughter you raised was so brilliant. It made me wonder if I had been mistaken about something.」

(No. No. You were never mistaken.)

「A woman who cheated, committed adultery, and indulged in luxury... She didn't look like someone raised by a person like that.」

(Stop it...)

Isabella thought desperately, searching for words that would sound as malicious as possible. Words that would make Crates lose heart.

「...Wellmy is a child who betrays her parents... I was not the one who raised her to be like that. It was the wet nurse, Goldray, and Lady Colwella...」

(Those people were the ones who raised her to be upright, Crates.)

Her voice threatened to tremble.

「Is that so? But you raised Wellmy alone until she was four, didn't you? And Wellmy said it herself—that you were kind to her. Oleia said the same of your treatment of the servants.」

「...」

「Isabella. The version of you I hear about—aside from your attitude toward Iola—is the kind-hearted Isabella I knew. ...The Isabella I loved.」

「...Stop. I didn't want to see you. Please, just go home...」

She didn't want to hear it. She couldn't bear to hear those words. The Isabella that Crates had loved died on the day Sabarin raped her.

(It's too late. It's already too late for everything.)

If only she hadn't been so lighthearted that day. If only she had noticed the carriage approaching.

(Then you wouldn't have had to suffer. It's all my fault.)

And so, Isabella put up a front with all her might. If she didn't, she would break down. She hadn't wanted him to notice the truth, yet she couldn't help but feel a flicker of joy that he had noticed and come to find her.

「Please, just go... I beg of you... my Lord...」

(Please, I'm begging you, don't look at me now that I've become so ugly. At this soiled, aged version of me.)

Crates reached across the narrow table and touched Isabella's shoulder. She flinched, and when he tried to pull her hands away from her face, she resisted.

「Will you really not show me your face?」

「Is it your wish to subject me to such humiliation...? Do you not think this is cruel?」

(Don't look. Let me remain beautiful, at least within your memories.)

「Isabella. ...Your habits haven't changed. And just like in the old days, you're a terrible liar.」

It seemed Crates let out a small chuckle.

「Whenever you felt guilty toward me, you would always bow your head and tremble like that. Telling yourself, 『It's my own fault,』 so you wouldn't cry. ...Even when we were setting up the room we rented together, you had that anxious look on your face the whole time.」

He told her he had intended to ask her if something had happened when he returned from finalizing his disinheritance.

「Isabella. I regret that so much now. I should have asked sooner. And now, I think... Well, I've grown up since then. If you don't want to talk about it, you don't have to.」

With a scrape of his chair, Crates stood up and gently stroked Isabella's back.

「Listen, Isabella. We've taken quite a long detour, but this time... won't you live with me?」

Her mind went completely blank. What had Crates just said? But she couldn't accept those words. Isabella shook her head violently.

「I can't... I'm so... sorr...」

「Isabella. No matter what happened to you, you have no reason to feel sorry toward me. You've atoned for your sins. I believe your only sin was the cruelty you showed toward Crown Princess Iola.」

He added that Iola herself had said she 『held no grudge.』

「You have atoned enough. ...So please, Isabella. For my sake, won't you stay with me? Growing old alone is a lonely thing.」

「...My Lord, please...」

(Don't say it. Don't say things like that. Don't be so kind. It makes me want to cling to you. I know I shouldn't, but I won't be able to hold back anymore.)

「Won't you call me Crates anymore? ...Listen, Isabella. Wellmy is going to have a baby soon.」

「...!!」

「My first grandchild. I'm looking forward to it more than I can say. But since I haven't spent much time with a wife or child, I don't know how to act around them.」

Isabella's eyes widened behind her palms. Crates leaned in and whispered into her ear.

「Could you teach me how to act around a child? How to cherish them, and what I shouldn't do? I think you would understand those things better than anyone.」

Finally, Crates took hold of Isabella's hands and pulled them down, enveloping them in his own. Her tear-streaked, gaunt face was exposed to his gaze. In her blurred vision, Crates was smiling with the same gentle look as always. Even with his hair half-white and his face lined with wrinkles, he was still the same Crates she loved.

「You're beautiful, Isabella. You haven't changed.」

「I'm not wearing makeup... I'm an ugly old woman... I...」

「When you were working so hard at the orphanage, you were radiant without any of that. I've grown older too.」

「I... I betrayed you... Crates...」

She could no longer hold back the trembling in her voice.

「I'm sorry... I'm so sorry...!」

She had wanted to apologize for so long. For hurting a man as kind as him.

「It's all right now. ...You finally called my name again. My lovely Isabella.」

Crates walked around the table and gathered her into his arms, whispering into her ear just like he used to.

「You don't have to say a word. ...So, let's go home, shall we? I'm still living in that room we were supposed to share.」

Isabella couldn't find any more words. She simply nodded in silence.

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