「I'm Having a Baby」So My Husband Told Me
Bedtime Story 1 ~ The World is Boring and Interesting
Translated by: S3
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*****
The world is terribly boring.
At fourteen years old, I, Melissa Crier, Viscountess's daughter, realized this. Or rather, I should say I was forced to realize it.
「Melissa! I'm going to start preparing dinner now, so come help me!」
「Coming, Mother!」
There are various types of Viscounts' families, but ours is a very poor noble family in name only.
The territory we possess is tiny, most of it is desolate, and there are hardly any residents. Naturally, tax revenue is negligible.
Still, Father is struggling to make the land a little more habitable for the few villagers who remain.
That's fine. I think that's a wonderful thing. Being poor doesn't bother me at all, since I was born into it.
I don't mind our poor household, but I wish my parents had a little more foresight.
I sighed in my small assigned room in our house—which is small enough to be a doghouse compared to other nobles' homes, though it's still relatively large in this area—and stood up. Then I opened the door to head towards the kitchen where my mother was.
「Uweeei!!!!!!!!」
「Goffu?!?!?!」
The moment I opened it, the intense pressure applied to my abdomen made me let out a strange noise.
As I painfully clutched my stomach, small feet ran past me with a violent bata-bata sound.
Somehow managing to stand up straight, I yelled, 「Hey! Dalsh, Ansh, and Kash! I always tell you not to run around the hallway!」
The three brothers—at the peak of their playtime and mischief—paused for a second and looked back at me. How's that for the authoritative voice of an older sister!
But the authority was easily ignored.
「Uweeei, Big Sister, Uweeei!!!!!!!!」
「Goffu-uuh!?」
Dalsh, the eldest son, lunged at me, thrusting the toy sword he was holding. Wait a minute, even if the tip is rounded and the material is soft, who normally thrusts that at their sister!?
And what is with that 「Uweeei!」? I'm your older sister, but is there something above that!?
(Note: Ue means up, above, you know, in regard to position.)
「You've got guts to pick a fight with your Big Sister Uweeei!」
I haven't raised three younger brothers for nothing! Come at me! I braced myself, but for some reason, Dalsh stopped. He looked back at his two brothers and then said,
「'Big Sister Uweeei,' that's lame!!!!」
「Alright, I'm buying that fight, I'm really buying it. Ansh, hand over the sword you're holding. Dalsh, it's a duel!」
「Bring it on!」
「Big Sister Uweeei, uweeei! Kyahaha!」
「Ngoffu-uuh!?」
The blow that stabbed my belly while I was shouting, 「Dalsh, a duel!」 came from Kash, the youngest and still innocent brother.
Big Sister, sunk.
Uweeei...
「Melissa, what are you doing?! Hurry up and help me! Ahhh, the pot is boiling over—!!!!!」
The sound of my brothers laughing uproariously.
Me, groaning in agony while clutching my stomach.
And my mother's screaming echoing through the house.
My parents, who are deeply in love, made children without planning, making our poor household even poorer.
They created a poor noble family where laughter never ceased.
Well, it's fine, I guess.
I love my parents, and my brothers are adorable.
The Crier family is noisy again today.
***
「I'm bored!」
I slammed my fork onto the desk and shouted.
「What's wrong, Melissa? Your usual spasm?」
「It's not a spasm! I just said I'm bored.」
Why is saying I'm bored considered a spasm? I don't get it.
My friend, Linda, looked at me after closing her empty lunch box lid.
「Well, how many times have you said that this month? I'm starting to get tired of hearing it.」
This is not an academy where nobles attend. My family has no margin to attend such a place.
We modestly attend a normal academy meant for commoners.
And Linda, a commoner I met there, is my best friend. We're eternal besties, right! Our relationship is one where she could say, 「Ew, no,」 if I said that. It's a joke, right? Tell me it's a joke.
「Isn't it wonderful that your family gets along, even if you're poor?」
「That's not it. I'm all for family harmony, too. And I love my family very much. But honestly, it's just too boring.」
I mean, think about it.
I live a life that's noble in name only, but I'm still officially a Viscount's daughter.
Assuming one of my brothers takes over the house, the normal path for me is to help Father with his work and boost the family, or find a noble fiancé.
But that's not working out.
I do help Father with his work, but I'm not particularly talented. I have no aptitude whatsoever. So I can't do anything to boost the territory or the house.
Then there's the fiancé search. This is an even higher hurdle.
「Hey, Linda, how do you get a boyfriend?」
I sought instruction from Linda, my bestie who is currently in a relationship.
「I just felt a bzzzt connection.」
「I see, thank you, that was entirely unhelpful.」
「Don't blame me.」
What is bzzzt? I've never experienced anything like that in my whole life.
「Maybe it was too difficult for a little girl who hasn't even had her first love yet.」
「I'm flat-chested anyway.」
「Who said anything about that?」
She's being dramatic.
Just as Linda muttered that.
A shadow fell into my line of sight.
*****
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