Chapter 3
Translated by: ME
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*****
He had realized it already—that his father had a mistress.
To be precise, it was quite early on that Alfred noticed his father didn't treat Rose (his mother) or himself with any importance.
Once Alfred was old enough to understand language and began accompanying his mother back to the Kirkland estate, his distrust toward his father took root. It happened when he discovered the reality that his cousins got to play with their fathers almost every single day.
Uncle Paley always gave his aunt a kiss on the cheek when he returned home, and Uncle Douglas gave his wife flowers and accessories even when it wasn't her birthday. The Kirkland manor was vast, featuring an entrance hall far more magnificent than the one at his own home, the Count’s estate. His grandfather had explained that the house had a West Wing, an East Wing, and a Main Wing, and that the brothers each used a separate wing.
In the main residence, there were rooms his mother, Rose, had used since she was a child. She would stay in those rooms during their twice-yearly visits to the Kirkland estate. The house was spotless, and his cousins had brand-new clothes every time he went to play. Alfred, meanwhile, was always wearing the same shirt or, at best, one of his father’s old shirts that had been tailored down.
The brightness and diligence of the servants there—so different from the Pendleton manor—seemed dazzling to Alfred. His cousins would laugh without a care and treat him to cakes they had baked with their mother.
His mother, Rose, tried her best to engage with him so he wouldn't feel lonely, but as he grew and understood his surroundings better, Alfred felt the painful reality that the Pendleton house wasn't functioning as a family.
His father had hardly ever given him any toys. The days when his Pendleton grandparents were invited were special; only then would his father open his wallet for him. Why? he had wondered, eventually realizing it was likely because his father wanted to show off to his own parents that he was "doing a proper job as a father." If it meant his mother didn't have to spend from her own meager purse, Alfred could manage to force a smile.
By the time he entered the academy, even Alfred understood the situation. His father provided almost none of the household maintenance funds that were supposed to be handed over to his mother. His mother sold the jewelry she had brought from the Kirkland family to cover his necessary expenses. Alfred knew that, as a result, he had extremely few clothes other than his school uniform, and he watched his mother mend the occasional tear herself. Rather than helping her, the servants laughed behind her back, mocking her: 「Coming from a Viscount’s house sure is convenient—she can even do the work of a servant.」
When his mother managed to save up a bit of money by further penny-pinching the pittance labeled as "maintenance funds," she never made a new dress for herself. She always put it toward Alfred’s clothing and education. His Pendleton grandparents visited occasionally, but they only ever said, 「Strive to be a credit to the Pendleton heir,」 never buying him school supplies or taking him out to restaurants like his Kirkland grandmother did.
They don't open their wallets, but they certainly open their mouths.
That was the impression Alfred had formed once he was old enough to know better.
His mother was a fair-skinned woman with a soft impression, but apparently, she had consistently been at the top of her class at the academy. As soon as Alfred enrolled, many teachers and even the headmaster approached him to talk about her. They all said that while his mother had a young, unadorned look, everyone knew back then that her competitive spirit had allowed her grades to surpass even the Crown Prince’s. Since he knew her as a gentle person who hated conflict and helped him with his studies, he was so bewildered by the image the teachers described that it left him confused.
He didn't think she was a "beauty" in the conventional sense, but his mother was petite, soft, and adorable. Even his friends would often say, 「Your mom is really cute,」 while blushing as they spoke to him.
He often thought that his mother, having grown up as the daughter of a wealthy noble, probably wanted to dress up and go out... but it was miserable not having the power to make that happen himself.
Uncle Douglas’s wife was always worried about Rose. They had been classmates at the same academy, and she would call his mother to tea parties whenever the opportunity arose. Looking back now, she was likely looking out for his mother as both a friend and a sister-in-law to ensure she wasn't harmed further.
「I made some new products at my shop. They’re just samples, but please use them if you’d like.」 Saying this, she would send his mother home with mountain of cosmetics.
「It’s such a waste for the lovely, smooth skin Rose had in our student days to go to ruin!」 his aunt—who was of commoner origin and worked at a major trading firm—would mutter at every opportunity. It was likely a friend’s way of showing concern, wanting to help his mother who couldn't afford proper self-care for financial reasons.
His father didn't show up to his ninth birthday party. The next morning, he apologized to Alfred in front of the grandparents, claiming he had "accidentally" scheduled work, but his expression was utterly transparent. Of course, there was no gift prepared for him either. It was obvious he had completely forgotten.
The Pendleton grandparents showed up even though they hadn't been invited to the party. Furthermore, they gave no present, only lecturing a child (and his friend) about the history of the Pendleton house. His Kirkland cousins, on the other hand, gave him two full sets of outfits from a popular clothier, telling him, 「This is the latest fashion!」 Those two precocious girls might have talked his ear off, but because they had worked so hard to choose for him, the clothes were incredibly cool and stylish. Seeing that, his Pendleton grandparents looked a bit embarrassed.
I’m nine years old now. I understand many things better than before. Just seeing that the grandparents were ashamed to have come empty-handed lowered my boiling point, if only slightly.
Feeling awkward about returning home drunk in the middle of the night, his father had asked, 「Is there anything you want?」
When Alfred replied, 「I want to go on a family trip,」 his father made a slightly difficult expression.
「We’ll go when I have some time,」 he answered.
When Alfred went to the academy, the daughter of the Aprine Jewelry shop spoke to him.
「Good morning! Happy birthday! I’m sorry I couldn't make it to your celebration yesterday. Lord Pendleton bought a large emerald at our shop yesterday. It’s the color of your eyes, Alfred! I expect he’ll have it crafted into something wonderful and give it to you soon?」
Even though he knew that day would never come, Alfred—who wasn't quite a full adult yet—couldn't help but hope just a little bit.
Of course, a month passed and no present reached his hands. Naturally, there was no invitation for a trip either. His mother gave him a dagger on the day of his birthday—he wasn't sure if she had asked the Kirklands for it. A ruby was embedded in the center of the hilt, and it was so magnificent it made him sigh. But the next day, he noticed a ruby brooch was missing from his mother’s jewelry box, and he wanted to cry.
Looking back now, emerald is the color of his eyes, but it’s also the color of his father’s eyes. It eventually occurred to him that his father might be gifting a jewel the color of his own eyes to someone other than his mother, but he convinced himself it was just one possibility.
Then, one day, the incident occurred.
When Josh told him that everyone in class had found out his father was having an affair, Alfred’s mind went blank. Although he had known, being confronted with the fact that his family was seen this way by outsiders was miserable and painful. He was so ashamed of his father and so heart-stricken that his mother, who gave so much, was being mocked, that he cried like a child that day. (Actually, come to think of it, I was still a child.)
It made him realize once again that his mother likely knew about the mistress, but she was enduring it all because he was there.
The Count Pendleton house had apparently been so poor it was on the verge of collapse. His cousins had mentioned it was rebuilt through the assistance of the Viscount Kirkland family. Despite that situation, how could he betray his mother? Just because his face is a little handsome, he goes around beckoning women—he’s an utter piece of trash.
However, that annoying Hawk from the Duke’s house was also telling the truth. We, mother and son, just didn't want to admit we were being ignored by my father. It was unbearably frustrating to live while clinging to the legs of such a person.
The next day, Count Goldsmith called me into his office.
「Alfred, how are you feeling? My son showed a lack of consideration yesterday and hurt you with his words. I’m sorry.」
He’s a rugged-looking Count, but this man is several times more trustworthy than my own father, whose only merit is his face. After spending the night crying with my mother, I had completely regained my composure.
「I know Josh said those things because he was thinking of me. I’m truly sorry that we ended up falling down the stairs together. Is he all right?」
「Just a bump on the arm and a bruise on his rear. Don't worry about it. By the way, is your mother all right?」
Perhaps the emotional strain hit her all at once, as my mother is still lying in bed. She has had a slight fever since this morning, and Count Goldsmith called a doctor for her a moment ago. The Count himself wrung out a hand-towel and placed it on her forehead, and he’s been discussing her condition with the doctor.
The Count stayed home from work today because he was worried about us. Thinking back, even when my mother and I were sick, my father never missed work, nor did he ever visit our rooms to check on us. The Count cooled the towel repeatedly and used a cloth to dab away the sweat on my mother’s forehead. He stroked her hair gently with his large palms, which were marked by pen calluses and prominent knuckles; he was even about to try and help her change her sweat-soaked nightgown.
(He was kicked out of the room by Josh’s nurse, Helena (43), though.)
What the Count was asking about, naturally, wasn't just the medical condition. It was about my father and mother.
Alfred is a child, but he isn't entirely naive.
「To tell you the truth, I knew about my father’s affair. It’s just... I didn't want to admit that we weren't loved...」 Saying it out loud brought tears of frustration rather than sadness to his eyes.
「My mother is a woman who grew up in a wealthy Viscount family and never knew hardship. She hates conflict and probably thought she should just endure it. But if my father is going to neglect us like this, I want to leave the house.」
「WHAAAAAAAT!!!」
Josh’s startled shout came from behind.
「Alfred! Wait! That means you won't graduate from the academy?!」 He burst out from behind the bookshelf and shook Alfred’s shoulders with all his might. 「You’re the top of the class! You’re so smart you might skip a grade next year—it would be such a waste to quit the academy! Besides, I wouldn't be able to see you every day!」 Josh desperately tried to hold him back.
「Josh, stop that. You’re bothering Alfred. But... I see... you want to leave the house...」
「Yes. Just as Hawk from the Duke’s house said, my father repeatedly has affairs and squanders our household funds on his mistress. My mother and I have barely managed to get by thanks to the mercy of the Kirkland family, but we’ve reached our limit. It’s shameful, but even the butlers look down on us and don't care if I, the heir, get hurt. It’s a house that won't even provide an escort for my frail mother when she goes out alone in the evening. My mother is worried about my title, but I don't feel that much value in the Pendleton name. It’s a Count’s title that was so poor it would have been dissolved if my mother hadn't provided the dowry, right? I don't need such a thing. Count Goldsmith. I hear divorce is difficult for nobles, but is it possible for my mother to get one? I’m sure if I say I want to leave, she will give up on her relationship with my father.」
「Divorce among nobility is difficult, but it’s not impossible if the conditions are met. Normally, the dowry is supposed to be returned upon divorce, but it’s considered difficult because the husband often won't pay, leaving the woman destitute. What do you intend to do once you and your mother leave her home? Noblewomen generally have never worked. Even if you wait for your own growth, there are still seven years until you reach adulthood.」
「I’ll quit school and work. Commoner children work from a young age. I can do it too.」
Alfred wiped his tears with a handkerchief and conveyed his resolve to Count Goldsmith. He was done letting his mother suffer. If they lived together, even if they were poor, their outlook would surely be more positive than it is now.
「That is impossible, Al.」 Without anyone noticing, Rose had entered the room.
「You may not know luxury compared to other nobles, but you are still far more blessed than commoners. Your mother is fine, so shouldn't you stay protected by the Pendleton name a little longer while you grow?」 His mother, already fair-skinned, was even paler due to the fever and looked so lightheaded she seemed like she might collapse at any moment.
Count Goldsmith stood up quickly and supported her.
「No, Mrs. Pendleton. We cannot ignore Alfred’s side of the story. Alfred has already been put in a difficult position at the academy because of his father. Even if his student status keeps him far from high society for now, we cannot easily turn a blind eye to Count Pendleton’s behavior.」
「There are many gentlemen who have affairs.」
「I cannot say there are none, but I cannot believe a husband would neglect his wife to this extent. This is a form of daily violence, even if he hasn't raised a hand to you. He is cornering you both mentally... and perhaps Count Pendleton will eventually have a child with his mistress.」
「...? What do you mean by that...?」
「I mean that it is possible he may replace his heir with the mistress’s child in the future.」
How could he!! Rose let out a small scream, her face turning deathly pale.
But thinking about it carefully, it was like a realistic melodrama that Siegfried—the current head of the Count’s house—could easily pull off. He was a father who didn't pay much attention to Alfred. If his beloved mistress, Catherine, were to become pregnant, it was easy to see him discarding Rose and her son to switch over to the new family.
「I don't go out into high society much myself, so I can't say for certain, but... um... Count Siegfried Pendleton is currently seeing one specific person, isn't he?」
Rose leaned against the sofa as if collapsing. Her legs had already lost their strength, and before she knew it, tears were streaming down her cheeks.
「Yes. That relationship has likely been going on for about two years now.」
Rose’s eyes shook with anxiety as she turned a sad, resigned face toward the Count. Count Goldsmith decided that he couldn't let the children see her in such a state of visible, agonizing distress, even if she had already suspected the truth.
「You two, go down to your rooms. Take a break from the academy today and spend your time relaxing. We adults are going to search for a solution now.」
Count Goldsmith gently pushed the two boys’ backs, encouraging them to leave the room.
「Have some cake for a change. Helena, the nurse, will prepare it for you.」 Count Goldsmith smiled warmly to reassure them.
*****
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