The Duke's Daughter Goes Her Own Way
[His Highness and Ellie's Tea Time. Or, His Highness's Revenge on His Guards]
Translated by: ME
Author's note:
The first part is a direct reprint of the short story posted in the Activity Report.
The second part is newly added.
It's the kind of 'revenge' scenario I always wanted to try writing with an isekai twist (laughs). I understand this probably isn't what 'revenge' typically means (laughs).
***
When I have tea with Ellie, the sweets are often baked goods. That's because I specifically order it that way.
Cake would be fine too, I suppose, but I find it adorable when Ellie picks up a treat with her small hands and nibbles on it. Just to see that, I often have cookies and such served.
Today, it's cookies sprinkled with crushed nuts on top. Ellie seems to prefer these simple kinds over more elaborate ones.
She holds the cookie firmly in her small hand and brings it to her mouth, nibbling away. Adorable.
Suddenly, Ellie's hand stops.
She's staring intently at the half-eaten cookie in her hand.
Is there something wrong with the cookie?
「Ellie? What's wrong? Is there something strange about the cookie?」
「Oh, no. It's not that. It's very delicious.」
She quickly denies my words, then looks down at the cookie again.
「...I was just thinking... cookies are quite profound.」
Profound...?
「This rich butter flavor. The nutty aroma. And the gentle sweetness... ...None of these are present in the cookies I make.」
I hear a choked *gah* sound from behind.
That must be Dion... I understand the feeling, but hold back your laughter.
「The softness that melts in your mouth... This is what a cookie should be.」
「I see...」
More importantly, normally, cookies are supposed to be that kind of food.
I think the one *you* created is the real 'miracle'... Though I can't say that.
「However, there is one point where my cookies surpass these.」
Is... there...?
I'm sorry, but I'm not even sure if Ellie's 'creations' can be classified as 'food.' For one, they have no taste. And they're hard enough to break your teeth.
In what way could that possibly surpass these cookies made by the royal castle's pastry chefs?
Ellie looked straight at me and said with a serious face:
「Lethality.」
Lethality!?
What are you trying to kill with it, Ellie?!
And you guards! Don't all cough at once! Hold it in!!
「If you threw this cookie at a villain, its only fate would be to be deliciously eaten.」
Well, I suppose so... Normally, cookies are 'delicious sweets.'
Even before that, if you meet a villain, I'd rather you run away *before* throwing cookies at them...
「But my cookies are different! They can be proper weapons! My cookies can fight!」
What!?
What on earth are you planning to fight with them?!
「In a way, couldn't you say my cookies have surpassed these?」
...What should I do? I absolutely cannot nod in agreement.
I don't want to deny you, but I feel I must not nod...
In the corner of my eye, I saw Dion quickly leaving the scene.
...Lucky you, having relief personnel.
I have no such thing...
If you must fight, couldn't you at least fight on the stage of 'food' with things like taste...?
Pitting food against weapons is taking mixed martial arts a bit too far.
As Ellie eats her cookie with a triumphant smile, I find myself unable to say anything and decide to ask for a refill of tea to calm my mind.
***
I remembered that incident... as I looked at the table set for tea.
The tea set, the sweets and light meals prepared by the cooks.
And most eye-catching of all, the brown, round object enshrined in the middle of the table.
Brown... or rather, scorched brown.
A round, flat 'something' about the size of my palm.
...Do I have to ask what that is?... Can I not pretend I didn't notice and let it pass?
Ellie has been frequenting the kitchen quite a bit this past week. Even if I don't ask, Ellie will probably tell me...
More importantly, why does she always make 'a considerable quantity'?... Is it impossible to start by prototyping a single serving?
No, I understand that cooking for a smaller number of people can be more troublesome.
I understand, but...
Ellie, who was delayed by an unexpected visitor, arrives, walking a little quickly.
Seeing me already at the table, she smiles, looking somewhat relieved.
That smile is as lovely as ever, and just seeing it warms my heart... but the brown 'something' enters my field of vision, and my slightly uplifted mood quickly calms to a flat calm.
「My apologies, Leon-sama. I've kept you waiting.」
I tell the bowing Ellie not to worry, stand up, and escort her to her seat.
...Ah... What to do... Ellie seems kinda... excited...
After we sit down and the maid finishes preparing the tea, Ellie looks at me and gives a bright smile.
So cute.
She's cute, but her gaze is definitely locked onto the brown 'something'...
「The other day, I received a letter from Professors Mash and Dawson of Stanford Academy...」
Ellie begins to speak after taking a sip of tea.
The names she just mentioned... I believe they are the chemistry and physics lecturers, right?... More importantly, they are the lecturers involved in Ellie's cookie production...
Ellie's cookies possess the inexplicable characteristics of being 'tasteless, odorless' with an 'incomprehensible texture' from a chemical and physical standpoint.
To unravel this mystery, the two professors had been assisting Ellie... or rather, they were both utterly fascinated by it.
Incidentally, these two are authoritative scholars in their respective fields. Their works serve as guidelines and foundations for cutting-edge research, and they receive inquiries from all over the world seeking their opinions.
With their help, Ellie has been making cookies repeatedly, using her own and the two professors' free time.
She says she's 'getting quite close to the ideal,' but I wonder where this 'ideal' of yours lies...
Well, it certainly feels closer to food than the very first 'Cookie (Provisional Name)' she made...
「The cookies have taken shape quite well now, so I felt the time was right and have started working on making a cake.」
Taken... shape... I see...
By the way, Ellie's cookies still have no clearly perceptible taste. It's vague, like "somehow sweet?" or "somehow salty?".
The texture varies each time. Well, at least they no longer have the hardness of the first batch, which required 'bringing out a blunt weapon to break them.'
Although they have become much more 'food-like' since then, if asked whether they have 'taken shape,' I have nothing but doubts.
More importantly, is that brown object possibly a cake...?
「I tried making one as a test, and it achieved a hardness that could indeed serve as a weapon. So, I compiled a report asking if the two professors could lend their power once more.」
And so, she wrote another report...
As an aside, the report titled 'Verification of a Miracle' that Ellie submitted during her academy entrance exam is kept in a locked cabinet in the Chemistry Department's archives.
It has a prominent 'DO NOT REMOVE' stamp on the cover and has even been treated with a protective coating.
According to Professor Mash, 「When I read it when I'm tired, it vaguely makes me feel like 'I'll do my best tomorrow too.'」 It seems popular among students who hit a wall in their research, as they feel encouraged that 「Her Highness the Crown Princess is also exploring paths without giving up.」
...I think everyone would forgive you if you gave up on that 'path,' Ellie... At the very least, I wouldn't blame you for that choice. In fact, I'd welco... no, well.
Also, your wandering has gone a bit too far; how about returning to the 'right path' once...?
「The professors sent me a very detailed report in reply, and I used that as a reference this time. It has turned out more cake-like than the previous attempt. As expected of the professors.」
Ellie nods, looking very satisfied.
...What on earth did she create last time?... If it was that hard at this size, wouldn't it really just be a weapon or a blunt object...?
At Ellie's signal, a maid brings a knife wrapped in a cloth.
Ellie stands up, carefully takes it, and cuts into what she calls the 'cake.'
*Screech*.
A sound that should never be heard when cutting a cake.
...Guards. I told you not to all cough at once.
With each slice Ellie cuts, heartbreaking destruction sounds echo: *Screech*, *Crack*.
On top of that, the guards' coughing is annoying.
Ah... What lovely weather... I wonder if a sudden downpour could start... Then we could have the items on the table cleared away...
After dividing the cake with un-food-like destruction sounds (*Crack* *Snap*), Ellie returns the knife to the waiting maid.
I just noticed, but that knife is strange too, isn't it?
The blade is unusually thick and sharpened. Could it possibly be not for regular cooking but for processing meat...?
Ellie places a slice on a plate and adds some cream to the edge for me.
Ah, at least this way I'll get to taste the cream. Thank goodness...
「Please, Leon-sama.」
She serves me the plate with a bright smile.
Her smile is utterly charming, but...
The piece of cake on the plate is larger than a single cookie. ...Hey, Ellie, wouldn't half this amount have been enough...?
Ellie sits down and waits for me to eat it, beaming.
The guards are also waiting, seemingly excited. Just you wait, all of you...
「...Well then, I'll have some.」
Darn. I almost sighed.
「Yes. Please, enjoy.」
Ah... What a lovely smile...
I reach for my fork and pause to think.
Given the destruction sounds when it was cut, the fork probably won't even pierce it, will it?
But manners are manners. I'll try it first.
I pick up the dessert fork and try to stab the cake.
A *clink* sound confirms the fork is completely useless against it.
Guards. Your coughing is annoying.
「Ah, please pick it up with your hands and bite into it directly. It's fine. Your teeth are stronger.」
「...I see.」
'Your teeth are stronger than the cake.' Well, I suppose that's true, but this is the first time I've encountered a cake that requires such a note...
I lightly rinse my fingertips and pick it up as instructed. It's surprisingly light. That means it has low moisture content. In other words, it's hard.
Staring at it forever won't help, so I decide to take a bite.
...I wish some cataclysm would happen, like a storm starting right now...
I try to bite with my front teeth, but as expected, they make no impression.
Reluctantly, I try crushing it with my molars.
Sure enough, a strange *crunch* sound occurs. Also, my jaw hurts.
With each chew, suspicious sounds (*crunch*, *snap*) that make me doubt it's even food occur. And each time, the guards' coughing fits are annoying.
Ellie has her back to them, so she probably doesn't know, but from my angle, I can see Norman in front, holding his breath and trembling like he's about to die.
...The direct superior for the Crown Princess's personal guards is Ellie, but have you forgotten that I'm above even that? Remember that later, will you?
I chew, *crunch*, *crack*, but no matter how much I chew, there's almost no taste.
As always, it's a confectionery akin to eating sand.
However, it does taste somewhat burnt.
While burnt food should never taste good, for this particular sweet, having any taste at all is a blessing. I never thought I'd see the day I'd be grateful for a burnt flavor.
After somehow washing down the contents of my mouth with tea and catching my breath, Ellie tilts her head with a bright smile.
「How was it? Leon-sama?」
What should I say...?
I told you guards not to get excited.
「...It's aromatic, which is nice. (Better than no taste at all.)」
「Really? As expected of Leon-sama! To notice that!」
Ellie claps her hands together happily.
「Although the copious amounts of sugar, eggs, and cream lost their flavor due to the mysterious miracle, the burnt part retains its burnt taste! So, I plan to compile this into another report and send it to the academy!」
「...I see.」
「Yes! My hypothesis is that my hands themselves are the 'Hands that Create the Miracle of Tastelessness and Odorlessness,' and flavors created by external factors not influenced by my hands remain as they are...」
「...I see.」
...Has she given up on identifying the cause of that 'miracle'? Does this mean I'll be subjected to burnt-tasting sweets for the rest of my life...?
On my plate, the cake, from which I've only taken one bite, remains.
In the center of the table sits the whole cake, now missing just my slice.
I call over the waiting maid.
「Yes. How may I assist you?」
「Cut that into portions for everyone and deliver it to the guards' ready room.」
「As you wish.」
The maid bows politely, but I can feel the guards' intense agitation.
Serves you right.
You were so excited. You want to try it, don't you?
Hey, Norman. What's with that look of utter despair? It's a sweet made by your master with her own hands. You should be happy.
「You should ask the guards for their impressions another day.」
When I say this, Ellie replies happily, smiling, 「Yes, you're right. I look forward to it.」
Now they no longer have the option of 'not eating it.' Serves you right.
Ellie has a small cake from the stand on the table served to her and examines it closely.
That one is made by the castle's craftsmen. It's delicious, no problem.
But on my plate, Ellie's cake still remains.
Ah... What lovely weather...
I wonder if a thunderstorm might come...
***
**Log Entry: 635th Year, Month 8, Day 22** **Recorder: Noel Gray**
A delivery from His Highness for everyone. Also, you will absolutely be asked for your impressions by Her Highness the Crown Princess at a later date, so everyone should think about it in advance.
---
「And hey, you guys, stop laughing! Hold it in! The splashback hits us!」 (Dion)
「If you say that, *you* try being there! Saying you wouldn't laugh is impossible, totally impossible!」 (Harrison)
「And then, Her Highness had this super sparkling, wonderful smile...」 (James)
「Oh man. Just imagining it makes me laugh www」 (Stein)
「I bet the Crown Princess's personal guards are having a similar conversation right about now...」 (distant gaze) (Cox)
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