HowDeadTL: Extra Story 11 Record of the Meeting Concerning the Installation of the Fountain in Macnagan Duchy Central Square

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The Duke's Daughter Goes Her Own Way

[Record of the Meeting Concerning the Installation of the Fountain in Macnagan Duchy Central Square]

Translated by: ME

Author's note:

It might be a bit hard to read, as it's written like a comedy sketch script.

You don't have to read it; it doesn't affect Carl's story. If you think "Reading this is a hassle," it's totally fine to skip it.

By the way, the narration at the end is Carl's monologue.

***

「So, it has been decided to install a fountain in the central square. I would like to hear your opinions regarding its design—」 (Chairman)

「A bear is absolutely necessary! It's the demon that symbolizes the North!」 (Northern Aide)

「Approved.」 (Chairman)

「Seriously!? If *that* gets approved, there must be something else, right!?」 (Chamber of Commerce President)

「How about... a grapevine? Our wine is famous.」 (Western Aide)

「Approved.」 (Chairman)

「Do you only say 'Approved'!?」 (Chamber of Commerce President)

「Let's have the bear-chan hold a fish in its mouth. See? Cute!」 (Northern Aide)

「I thought it was a demon!?」 (Chamber of Commerce President)

「Ah, then, please include the famous Miss May from our village too.」 (Eastern Aide)

「Who's that!?」 (Chamber of Commerce President)

「Huh!? You don't know her!? It's Miss May!?」 (Eastern Aide)

「I said, who is she!?」 (Chamber of Commerce President)

「You know, the one rumored to have subdued a raging bull with one arm...」 (Eastern Aide)

「I don't know her, but that's amazing!!」 (Chamber of Commerce President)

「Approved.」 (Chairman)

「You're approving it!?」 (Chamber of Commerce President)

「Then, let's have that Miss May hold weaponry, a specialty of the North! See? Cool, so cool!」 (Northern Aide)

「And you never come up with decent combinations, do you!?」 (Chamber of Commerce President)

「Wait a moment! I have just noticed a critical flaw in the current proposal...!」 (Western Aide)

「A flaw... you say?」 (Chairman)

「There's nothing *but* flaws, I don't know which one you're talking about!」 (Chamber of Commerce President)

「Yes. Miss May is a woman, correct?」 (Western Aide)

「Yes. She's a physically strong woman who symbolizes the 'Eastern Mama' – plump and gentle in appearance, yet capable of handling a raging bull with one arm.」 (Eastern Aide)

「Be strong mentally too!」 (Chamber of Commerce President)

「If we only place a woman, won't there be complaints of unfairness from the men...?」 (Western Aide)

「I see...!」 (Northern Aide)

「Probably not...」 (Chamber of Commerce President)

「Ah, you mean if we only feature the bear-chan, the wolves might sulk, saying, 'What about us...'!」 (Northern Aide)

「Are your ears rotten!?」 (Chamber of Commerce President)

「The Northern Aide is quite right.」 (Western Aide)

「And you're crazy too!?」 (Chamber of Commerce President)

「Well then, wouldn't it suffice to fairly incorporate a man as well?」 (Eastern Aide)

「A man who symbolizes the Duchy...」 (Western Aide)

「Ah, how about that? The old men we saw playing chess on the way here.」 (Northern Aide)

「That's good!」 (Eastern Aide)

「Is it!?」 (Chamber of Commerce President)

「Ah, that's good. The West has plenty of such old men too.」 (Western Aide)

「Approved.」 (Chairman)

「Reject something once in a while!」 (Chamber of Commerce President)

「But wait! We've adopted an auntie and old men, but then won't there be complaints from young men and women, middle-aged men, or grandmothers next...!?」 (Eastern Aide)

「!! (Gasp in realization)」 (Northern & Western Aides)

「...There won't be. I'd bet on it. There won't.」 (Chamber of Commerce President)

「Then, how about this idea! How about having the bear-chan trampling over those young men, women, grandmothers, and middle-aged men...!」 (Northern Aide)

「That visual is horrific!!」 (Chamber of Commerce President)

「Being trampled by a bear seems a little cruel, don't you think...」 (Western Aide)

「'A little' is a massive understatement!」 (Chamber of Commerce President)

「I've got it! Let's just decide that they are buried in the foundation!」 (Eastern Aide)

「That's not good at all!?」 (Chamber of Commerce President)

「Ooh...! What a wonderful idea...!! As expected of the Eastern Aide...!!」 (Northern Aide)

「I see, I see. Then let's prepare some freshly dug, soft soil at the bear-chan's feet!」 (Western Aide)

「So they're freshly buried!?」 (Chamber of Commerce President)

「To make them understand we are by no means looking down on them, let's make the area at its feet a flower garden.」 (Eastern Aide)

「If I could be buried beneath beautiful flowers, I'd be happy!」 (Northern Aide)

「No, you wouldn't!!」 (Chamber of Commerce President)

「Approved.」 (Chairman)

「You've got an easy job, haven't you!?」 (Chamber of Commerce President)

「You mentioned beautiful flowers... but which flowers should we use?」 (Western Aide)

「Wouldn't the flowers blooming in the fields around here be fine?」 (Northern Aide)

「Approved.」 (Chairman)

「That's too neglectful!!」 (Chamber of Commerce President)

「What are you saying? Wildflowers may be simple, but they are beautiful. They possess a hardiness and sturdiness to withstand storms, and yet also a fragility, scattering in a gentle breeze. We are by no means treating them neglectfully.」 (Northern Aide)

「You can spout such plausible lines!?」 (Chamber of Commerce President)

「If only I could live like that...」 (Northern Aide)

「Shut up with your contrived nonsense!」 (Chamber of Commerce President)

「Ah! I've got it! How about... we have them secretly carved somewhere in the motif? We could add some plausible phrase like 'Finding the hidden granny will bring you good luck.'」 (Western Aide)

「Approved.」 (Chairman)

「You're even calling it 'plausible'!!」 (Chamber of Commerce President)

「Then please, let's have a hidden wolf too!」 (Northern Aide)

「What else shall we hide?」 (Eastern Aide)

「There's no need to hide anything!」 (Chamber of Commerce President)

***

Since coming to this land, I feel I have seen numerous instances of things that are 'different from what I know,' but I found myself thinking that this, too, was 'far too different from the meetings I know.'

I wonder what kind of expression the clerk who recorded this meeting had while taking the minutes... Probably, they were just perfunctorily carrying out their duties, thinking "It's the usual."

According to what I heard from Elrod later, this Chamber of Commerce President, who fought valiantly using common sense as his shield, came to be praised by everyone as 'the brave warrior who fought to the end, even in a hopeless, lonely battle.'

Indeed, one can only imagine the mental strain on the Chamber of Commerce President. I cannot help but sympathize.

I received Elrod's permission and decided to get a copy of these minutes.

Whenever something unpleasant happens, I will look at this.

I'm sure it will make everything seem utterly insignificant.

That's what I thought.

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